Fresh Fresh Start

I’ve been keeping a blog for years and years. Sometimes I lose interest, but I always come back. But I think I hold a record. No one has ever read my blog! I have access to stats that tell me this. At the time I wrote it, I wanted people to read it. I had an audience in mind. I imagined all of my friends would read it. I had it linked to my Facebook account and linked on the forums I visit.

But since 2005, i’ve had TWO people visit my blog. Has anyone ever written a blog with just two hits? How is that possible? Not being stalked is awesome and something to be thankful for. I can be reassurance that nobody has ever stalked me! But at the same time, everyone secretly wants someone to stalk them…. just a little bit. Over the years, the handful of people who I suspected might be stalking me, in fact, weren’t. And certainly, no one of those few people who i’ve ever wanted to be stalked by, has stalked me. One visitor to my old blog was my mother, who shamelessly seeks me out of the internet, instead of just asking me about my life. The other was a stranger from New Jersey who left a comment reading, ‘don’t be so sure that no one reads your blog!‘ Actually, I am so sure…

So i’ve archived and deleted the old blog, which was mostly a sea of negativity. It was a pretty big wake up call! A good reminder of the bad things i’ve left behind in favour of a life filled with love and joy. I’d leave it up, but it just doesn’t reflect who I am anymore, and much of it is pretty unpleasant. I’ll keep it to myself.
If no one read my previous blog, I can’t imagine that changing now. But that’s an advantage. Writing for an external audience restricts you somewhat. So my new blog is then for me and me alone. The audience I write for is myself. I can write about things that won’t make the tiniest amount of sense to anyone but me- Hooray! It’s a collection of my thoughts and a celebration of the things in this life that I absolutely love, from the smallest to the biggest. It’s another way I can know myself and understand what makes me who I am. Like a diary (but with very cool photos and videos- score!) this is something I can look back to again and again and smile the biggest smile.

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