Mom’s Eulogy – August 31

st

, 2012

Over the past few years, I have become quite accustomed to

writing speeches, whether it be for the Synagogues Annual Kol

Nidre appeal, for a Gala event, or for the many Bar or Bat

now, here I am, at the most heart wrenching time, giving my

mom’s eulogy. I wish my sister’s and for that matter my mother,

could have heard me at a much more joyous occasion rather than

today. Mom, I hope you can hear me, and just know how much we

all love you.

One of the best things I have done in my life, other than of course

marrying my wonderful wife, Gaylene, was to join the Chevra

Kadisha. My father, who is I think the longest living member of

the Chevra, tried for years to get me to join. But, I always declined

probably the most impactful and significant decision I made.

These men and women who give selflessly of themselves to assist

our beloved departed and their grieving family and friends are truly

amazing and I consider myself fortunate to be part of this

incredible group of individuals. I know I speak on behalf of my

father when I tell you all how much we respect and love you all,

for all that you do for the entire Jewish community. I can now

attest to this first-hand!

My mother was born in Toronto on December 28

, 1928, although

for most of our lives, we always celebrated her birthday on

December 31

her birthday the same time as New Years. Perhaps, because she

fond memories travelling to Toronto, where they all lived, and

spending time with my aunts and uncles and all our cousins. In

case you are not aware, Farrel and his sisters are doubly related to

my sisters and me. That’s because my father was first introduced

to my mother in Toronto through his first cousin, my Aunt,

Rosalie, and Farrel’s mother, when she was married to Harry, my

mother’s brother. (If you think this is confusing, ask me at

his wife Lisa.) (Anyways) My father told me that one day Rosalie

and Harry showed him a picture of Hilda and he immediately

anniversary. I know it was very difficult for my mother to move

away from Toronto back then. She was only 21 years old, her

parents and siblings were all in Toronto, and she did not know

anyone in Edmonton, whereas she had many many good friends in

Toronto that made it even harder for her to leave. However,

having just gotten married, she really had no choice, so move she

did. And once in Edmonton, it did not take my mother long to

make friends here. Her personality attracted friendships. That is

one thing about my mother; she always had many good friends and

she always made sure she kept in contact with them all, whether

they were here in Edmonton or back in Toronto or somewhere else.

Gaylene, remembers us watching the home movies, and in one

scene, my mother was getting out of the car as they arrived at

home, with a baby in her arms, my sister Mimi, and being greeting

by my mom’s parents, my Bubbie Annie and Zaida Sam, who

frequently came to Edmonton to visit. Then, in the next scene, a

year and a half later, my mother was again coming out of the car

with another baby in her arms, me of course, and Mimi in the arms

of my Bubbie. I think my Zaida Sam was in the background

smoking a cigarette. Then, in the next scene, a few years later,

again my mother was getting out of the car with another baby in

car with her last child, Risa of course, once again being greeted by

her parents, and again the other four of us playing, or by this time

fighting with one another in the front yard. By the way, back in

those days there were no infant car seats. The other thing, I

remember, is that in each of those five scenes, the car was always a

different make and model. The only thing constant was my Bubbie

always greeting my mother as she was getting out of the car with a

child in her arms, and my Zaida always smoking a cigarette.

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure how my dad managed to

drive the car up to the house while filming this all???

Growing up at our house in Valleyview, I fondly remember always

having our friends around, whether they were my friends or my

all of his sister’s good-looking friends hanging around his house.

As each of my sister’s grew up, one by one they moved away.

Mimi, Shelley and Carrie to Toronto, and Risa to Los Angeles and

eventually to Florida. I know this was very difficult for my

parents, and especially to mom. She was extremely close to each

of my sister’s and missed them terribly. My mother had a very

special and individual bond with each of my four sisters.

However, although they were separated by thousands of miles,

each one of them was always close to her heart and I know they

exercising and socializing with friends and family. However,

although this disease took its toll physically on my mother’s body,

and eventually prevented her from walking all together, and

eventually eating, as well as sometimes making her delusional, her

memory, even near the latter stages, remained intact. She was

amazing. Often, my father, Gaylene and I would be talking with

my mom, and while the three of us would be struggling to

remember someone’s name, right away my mother, would tell us

the person we were trying to remember. And then, a cute little

smile would creep onto her face…., as if to say, “see, I’m still with

Also, when my mother would be sitting in her wheelchair, or in

Florence, would drop by to visit, or my daughters Taylor and

Kaylee. And she never failed to compliment how beautiful all four

of them looked, or for that, matter, even complimenting me.

Friends were extremely important to my mother. Next to family,

they were her life. As I mentioned earlier, my mother had lots of

good friends and many of you are here today. But some of her

dearest and closest friends were Seema Leon, Lil Segal, Rose

Pechet, Esther Samuels, Maimie Sorokin, Sybil Dlin and Marj

Goldberg. I am sure I am missing some as there were so many. I

also lost.

My father, my sisters and I are all overwhelmed with the love and

support that we have received from all of you who are here, and to

all those who were unable to be with us this afternoon. Even

though many friends and family members were not able to make it

today, I know their thoughts and prayers are with us. As I read

emails, received phone calls, I was often brought to tears with the

emotional outpouring of affection for my mother, as I know my

father and sisters also were. On behalf of my father and sisters, I

cannot thank you enough for all of your support and love that you

have showered us with.

mother. I know my father would want me to tell you, Amy, what a

special person and doctor you are, and that he will always be

eternally grateful for your loving care of my mom. I know my dad

considers you a dear friend as well as having been my mother’s

physician.

Over the past number of years, my father has truly been amazing.

He has dedicated his entire life over the past 10 years or so to the

care of his beloved wife. There is no doubt in my mind, that if my

mother had been moved to a nursing home, she would not have

verbally how much you loved and adored her. I know how much

she valued that by the way it always made her smile.

A couple days ago, when chatting with Rabbi Kunin, I asked him if

Jewish people believe in Angels. You would think being President

of the Shul, I would know? Anyways, he told me that although we

do not believe in guardian angels so to speak, Angels are

mentioned in the Bible. Well, I have to tell you, that I believe in

Angels. They are walking amongst us here on Earth, and these

Angels are the caregivers that not only provided my mother with

such love and devotion but also to so many of your loved ones as

well. The sad truth of getting older is that we also unfortunately

begin attending more and more funerals of friends and family.

will always be eternally grateful to you all. There are many of you

who have provided care to my mother during her failing years, but

four of you particularly will always be in my family’s heart. And

they are of course, Jackie, Avi, Irene and Lyndsey. You four not

only took such special care of my mother, but were devoted to her

and loved her as she was your own mother. You truly are Angels

and I know my mother also loved you four very much. Thank you

for your love and devotion to my mother.

I want to thank the Rabbi for his support and officiating at my

love and affection everyone had for my mother as well as for our

entire family. Sometimes we can forget about how much we rely

and value one another’s love, friendship and support until such an

occasion as this. Thank you also to Ron, my sister Shelley’s

husband, and to Martin, my sister Carrie’s partner, for not only

their love for my mother but also their ongoing support to my

sisters. You both are terrific. And of course, I want to extend my

thanks and love to my wife Gaylene for all of her support during

this difficult time. I know how much you loved my mom, and my

mother truly adored you and agreed with me 100% that you are the

best thing in my life.

I would like to end with two quotes. This first one is from a friend

own and the parents’, when we lose a parent”.