Example Statements of Purpose (Personal Statements)
The following examples, drawn from real student essays and public sources (details
altered for anonymity), demonstrate the wide range of academic and professional interests,
writing styles, and approaches taken by applicants in the science and technology fields.
Some of these essays are really quite good, while others would benefit from substantial
revisions. Rather than templates or models, these samples are best considered for their
inspirational value whether to help you find something you like in a piece of writing, or to
help you avoid certain types of passages that don’t add value to your essay.
Importantly, your essay should be authentic to you: your voice, your story, your
passions, your career plans.
Critical Evaluation of Essays
Certain questions may be useful to help you evaluate and suggest improvements to
personal statements, including your own!
1. Does the statement make clear near the beginning what the applicant is seeking,
whether an internship position, a spot in graduate program, etc.?
2. Does the statement explain why the applicant is interested in the opportunity?
3. Does the statement address ways that the applicant will bring benefits to the
internship sponsor, graduate program, or field broadly? (Does the statement
consider the readers interests?)
4. Does the statement explicitly connect past experiences with future intentions?
5. Does the statement employ specific examples to demonstrate the applicant’s
accomplishments and qualifications for the proposed path?
6. Does the statement give you a sense of knowing the applicant’s motivations in
professional (and sometimes private) life?
7. Does the statement avoid recounting the sort of information that would normally be
listed in a resume/CV, such as GPA, transcript details, club membership, etc.?
8. Is the statement easy to read, organized in straightforward way, and free from
grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors?
1
Graduate School Personal Statement (A)
A"simple"bridge"truss"was"the"first"structure"I"ever"analyzed."The"simple"
combination"of"beams"that"could"hold"cars,"trains,"and"trucks"over"long"spans"of"water"
fascinated"me."Having"the"tools"to"analyze"the"loads"on"the"truss"further"increased"my"
interest"in"structures."I"encountered"the"bridge"in"a"textbook"for"my"first"engineering"class."
Knowing"that"the"professor,"Mr."Lionel"Trane,"was"a"tough"teacher,"I"purchased"the"
class"book"ahead"of"time"and"began"to"read"it"over"the"summer."The"first"member"of"my"
family"to"attend"college,"I"was"determined"to"succeed."In"class"we"learned"about"forces"on"
simple"members"and"then"we"put"the"members"together"to"form"a"simple"truss."At"this"
point"I"had"almost"decided"that"structural"engineering"was"the"career"for"me."I"loved"the"
practical,"problem"solving"aspects"of"the"field."
As"I"continued"in"my"program,"the"coursework"became"more"advanced."In"my"
analysis"and"design"classes,"I"especially"enjoyed"studying"steel"design"because"we"not"only"
learned"the"use"of"the"load"resistance"factor"design"but"also"applied"that"knowledge""I"
designed"a"fourEstory"building."The"professor"was"a"practicing" engineer,"and"he"always"
related"the"subject"to"real"life"steel"structures"he"had"engineered,"for"example,"the"
Goodman"Library"in"San"Diego."This"is"the"kind"of"project"on"which"I"would"like"to"work,"
designing"the"structure"and"considering"how"the"building"will"respond"to"environmental"
forces.""
Although"I"liked"my"classes,"my"internship"experiences"really"confirmed"my"interest"
in"structural"engineering."While"working"at"Canteco"as"a"student"volunteer"the"summer"
after"my"sophomore"year,"I"reviewed"calculations"for"loadEbearing"members"in"new"
commercial"building"designs."The"calculations"were"based"on"three"sets"of"endEapplication"
assumptions,"and"I"had"to"verify"the"numbers"and"make"sure"the"core"parameters"matched"
the"clients’"intended"load"predictions."In"this"role,"I"attended"weekly"meetings"with"the"
technical"staff"and"reported"on"the"discrepancies"I"found"in"the"project"portfolios."It"was"
exciting"to"know"that"I"was"the"last"checkpoint"before"the"whole"design"w ent "for"a pprova l,"
and"I"enjoyed"working"on"something"where"I"could"use"my"analytical"skills"in"a"project"with"
realEworld"results"that"created"safer"and"more"useful"structures."
At"Milwaukee"University,"I"hope"to"enroll"in"the"structural"engineering"program."In"
this"program"I"hope"to"draw"on"my"structural"analysis"and"internship"background"as"a"
foundation"for"studying"more"advanced"concepts."I"am"particularly"interested"in"
researching"the"ties"between"the"structural"engineering"and"applied"mechanics."I"hope"to"
be"involved"in"some"structurally"related"research"at"Milwaukee"University."I"am"
particularly"interested"in"the"research"programs"of"Prof."John"Smith"and"Prof."Diana"King."
After"completing"my"degree"in"engineering","I"know"I"want"to"design"structures."That"
is"what"has"fascinated"me"since"I"took"Mr."Trane’s"class.""The"program"at"Milwaukee"
University"will"help"me"to"be"competent"and"competitive."After"working"for"several"years"
designing"structures"for"seismic,"wind,"fire,"and"flood"readiness"with"a"large"firm,"my"longE
term"goals"are"to"found"my"own"engineering"consulting"firm."
"
2
Summer Internship Personal Statement (B)
!
As the time approached for me to set my personal and professional goals,
I made a conscientious decision to enter a field which would provide me with a
sense of achievement and, at the same time, produce a positive impact on
mankind. It became apparent to me that a career in electronics would fulfill these
objectives. In retrospect, my ever-growing commitment to electronics has been
crystallizing for years. My intense interest in computer gaming, education, and
current events seems particularly appropriate to this field and has prepared me
well for such a critical choice at this juncture of my life.
Even though I have been passionate about electronics for a long time, I
actually didn’t know that I wanted to make it into a career until recently. When I
was a freshman here at Rudolf College, my friends were all in the pre-med track.
Although I liked the chemistry and biology classes I took, I just couldn’t see
myself doing surgeries or having to look at blood all the time. I also really had a
passion for education, and I even took two classes in the Education Department
at Rudolf. For the next three semesters, I imagined myself as a teacher or
educator. At the end of my sophomore year, I read an article on Buzzfeed that
changed my whole perspective.
It basically laid out how the next generation of portable devices would
need a “thought revolution,” that is a new way of thinking about design and
materials in the future for the seamless integration of web-enabled access to all.
The limits of Moore’s Law need to be overcome, and I have always known that to
me, a challenge is just an opportunity to succeed. When there is something to be
done, I am always the first to volunteer, whether it’s in my classes or in the Delta
Gamma Sigma fraternity, for which I am proud to serve as Membership Chair
and Vice President-elect.
I’ve been asked many times why I wish to become an electronics
researcher. Upon considerable reflection, the thought of possessing the ability to
help others communicate provides me with tremendous internal gratification and
offers the feeling that my life’s efforts have been focused in a positive direction.
Becoming an electronics scientist is the culmination of a lifelong dream; and I am
prepared to dedicate myself, as I have in the past, to achieving this goal.
3
Graduate School Personal Statement (C)
!
I have always been fascinated by the amazing jobs robots are able to
perform, and by the way all these cars around us were designed. The problem
is, my interest was not satisfied by revolving around the outer appearance of
these machines or by how well they achieved their functions, but was
constantly demanding to learn more about how they managed to do so, and
what inner complexities I was not allowed to meet closely made it capable of
attracting my attention.
Engineering arrived like a wish granted, as it combines the two subjects I
am very passionate about. A masters degree in engineering is going to give me
the chance to further dive into the interesting findings of physics and finally
put the mathematical knowledge I gained in my bachelors program into
practical application.
In addition to that, a very important group of those who change the world
are engineers. They get to look for ways to control and prevent the pollution
going on because a greener environment, free from pollutants is what we are all
looking forward to. They also create new medicines, explore and develop new
technologies. They can try out all the amazing things we thought would only
exist in imagination, from flying vehicles to undersea buildings. They are able
to grasp these wonders and make them the future's reality, and I would be very
glad to join them in doing so.
After choosing to be one, I read various pieces of information about
engineers that achieved success. Among the texts I went through, I found Hedy
Lamarr, who has affected today's availability of Wi-Fi, Smartphones, and any
other wireless technology possible. I honestly regard this as very impressive, as
almost all our reliance nowadays is on the result of her creation. Despite the
fact that Hedy had no degree in engineering, she had an idea for switching from
a frequency to another in a matter of split-second intervals, and putting it into
application was enough to help us reach today's technologies.
In our time, though, I believe that an engineer is not going to prosper if
he depends only on the knowledge he graduates with. Every engineer needs to
build certain skills including leadership, business adeptness, management,
and ease of communication.
At the University of Madison, I will have a chance to mix with students
with different backgrounds and talents, and this will be a step forward in being
a better participant during teamwork and a good boost to my confidence. Apart
from that, studying in your program will free me, somehow. I will be more
capable of organizing my time without being held back by family obligations. It
will bring about a more independent person out of me that can work her way
through life with a lot of her own effort.
Finally, I hope that a degree from your university is going to serve as the
ultimate base to the journey I am taking to achieve my dreams towards a
successful engineering career.
4
Graduate School Personal Statement (D)
!
The aerospace industry is currently one of the most rapidly advancing and high tech
industries, it fascinates me to see how the machines are being built and developed to achieve
magnificent goals. I have a basic understanding of how this is achieved through documentaries
and research, however I endeavor to know more about this industry and broaden my
understanding as the more I know the happier and more content I will become, the thought of
working within this industry and helping mankind to advance and improve really excites me and
your university provides me with the key features and opportunities to achieve this. My passion
for the aerospace industry started at a very young age when my parents took me to the Chicago
Air and Water show. I can remember standing next to my father constantly asking questions and
being fascinated in particular by the U.S. Navy Blue Angels (F/A-18 Hornets) and the Czech-
built L-39 C Albatros jets. I was also fortunate enough to visit Washington, DC on a seventh-
grade trip and visit the National Air and Space Museum, where I was able to peek into the flight
deck of the space shuttle and look inside a Mercury capsule.
I have a competitive personality and through completing an internship in engineering I
have gained the skills to allow me to proactively problem solve or question if something is the
best it can be. Which I think are fundamental skills within this industry.
Obtaining a Master of Engineering will greatly increase my career prospects and allow
me to pursue a job in an industry which greatly interests me. Part of this drive I feel comes from
my father who is an engineer himself, and being very happy with his job. I have also completed
an internship in the engineering firm Kaplan & Haupt; this has taught me essential skills such as:
teamwork, planning, punctuality, commitment, CAD, manufacturing, and problem solving.
Working in an actual industry has given me key experience with dealing with customers and
keeping people happy, it has also matured me greatly and taught me how to balance my life
between work and home. I have had many different jobs since the age of 13, and this has taught
me to be independent and not rely on other people to get me through life. As an undergraduate I
was involved with a number of extra-curricular activities, these included the intramural soccer
championship, Society of Mathematics Scholars, and varsity cross-country.
Attending your graduate program will also provide me with the rare opportunity of being
surrounded by people who share the same interests and ambitions, which means ideas can be
discussed and improved greatly. I am a very outgoing person which can be shown through my
hobbies, which include all types of music and instruments, mountain biking and a variety of
sports. I am always looking for a challenge to take on and your program will be able to provide
me with that challenge and the satisfaction I will get from achieving it.
Recently I have been looking into the prospect of how engineers are taking ideas from
nature to move along and improve the engineering industry, one thing which was of keen interest
to me here was how understanding a giraffe has enabled a suit to be made which allows pilots to
experience 9G’s without blacking out. I visited a NASA research site, and was given the
opportunity to see some of their research facilities, even though a lot were off limits and top
secret the parts I was allowed to see absolutely fascinated me. Graduate school will give me the
fundamental grounding I need to achieve what I want in life, and a way of getting there.
5
Graduate Fellowship Personal Statement (E)
!
As a sophomore at Mendota College, I spent the month of June volunteering on
the small island of Salvador, Guatemala, along with 25 other Mendota students. There
were five medical “clinics” on the island which consisted of a one-room hut with a table
for the patient to sit on, a lawn chair for the doctor, and boxes of donated medicine.
These clinics were staffed with three Mendota students and one local doctor each day,
and in these conditions the doctor and his student assistants (with absolutely no
medical experience) performed anything from routine physicals to minor surgeries.
Patience and cooperation were important for the success of the medical team and the
safety of the patients. My trip to Guatemala was a tremendous learning opportunity for
me; I learned the importance of team cooperation, problem solving, hard work, and
giving back to the community, which I try to apply to my career path and everyday life.
After my trip to Guatemala, I discovered a passion for using science and
technology to benefit the community. I followed this passion by pursuing opportunities
for original research. My first research experience was as a summer researcher with
Prof. Melvin Calvin at Mendota College. My research studied how strongly chiral β-
blockers bind to chiral micelles, which is important for chiral drug separation techniques
and ensuring the safety of consumers. The challenges and rewards of performing
independent research compelled me to pursue more research opportunities. In two
summer internships at the Eli Lilly Laboratory I developed instrumental methods for
better separation of impurities from new drug candidates. My experiences in the
pharmaceutical field inspired me because I saw how the applications of my research
directly improved public safety. I was eager to apply my passion for impacting the
community through research and outreach and to satisfy my interests in analytical
chemistry, which is why I chose to attend the University of Minneapolis for graduate
school. The University produces top-quality, high impact research and at the same time
focuses on community outreach.
Outreach to a community, scientific or otherwise, happens through engaging and
effective communication. As an active member of the national chemistry, biology, and
theater honor societies at Mendota College, I gained experience giving numerous
presentations to a variety of audiences. I have presented my research to other
scientists at several local and national conferences, including the National ACS meeting,
a regional ACS Conference in Milwaukee, a regional Science Conference in Chicago, and
numerous presentations on the Mendota campus. I have been pursuing a mission to
become a mentor to a broader community by presenting my research to audiences with
varying levels of scientific background. Although I believe it is important to be able to
present current research to others in the scientific community, I have developed a
special passion for making science exciting and accessible to non-scientists and
underrepresented groups.
I have demonstrated a capability to conduct innovative research, an eagerness
to utilize available resources to further develop my skills, and a desire to communicate
my passion to others. I am excited to share my passion for science through mentoring
and inspiring the next generation of scientists. I look forward to a career based in
research while keeping the mentoring of future scientists of all backgrounds as an
utmost priority in my life.
6
Graduate Fellowship Personal Statement (F)
!
A"career"in"experimental"science"is"not"for"the"lighthearted."The"requisites"of"hard"work,"
creativity,"certain"failure,"and"long"hours"can"only"be"successfully"sustained"by"one"attribute:"
passion."Passion"fuels"the"desire"for"experimental"excellence,"communication"of"the"
phenomena,"and"a"certain"penchant"to"always"ask"the"question"“why?”"or"“how?”"Over"the"
course"of"my"undergraduate"studies,"my"passion"for"scientific"knowledge"and"the"ability"to"
share"that"knowledge"with"others"has"led"to"my"decision"to"pursue"a"doctoral"degree"in"
chemistry"with"the"ultimate"career"goal"of"becoming"a"professor."
My"experience"in"the"scientific"community"at"La"Crosse"University"significantly"opened"
my"eyes"to"the"beauty"of"chemistry"all"around"us."My"professors"loved"sharing"their"passion"for"
science"with"us"students,"and"their"guidance"over"the"years"fostered"the"development"of"my"
interests"in"science."I"was"fortunate"enough"to"experience"research"in"organic"chemistry"in"the"
lab"of"Dr."Francis"Erlenmeyer"at"La"Crosse"University."Prior"to"research,"I"was"not"aware"of"how"
gratifying,"social,"and"exciting"a"career"in"research"could"be."I"became"enamored"with"idea"of"
answering"questions"that"have"not"yet"been"answered."In"this"aspect,"I"found"research"to"be"
both"intellectually"stimulating"and"humbling,"which"quickly"became"the"cornerstone"of"my"
passion"for"science."In"that"summer,"I"learned"the"basic"fundamentals"of"organic"chemistry:"how"
to"set"up"a"reaction,"how"to"run"a"column,"and"how"to"make"fancy"PowerPoint"slides."Above"all,"
my"ability"to"think"analytically,"ask"good"questions"about"the"literature,"and"how"to"plan"future"
research"greatly"improved."During"the"remainder"of"my"time"at"La"Crosse,"I"spent"time"on"two"
projects"and"both"have"led"to"manuscripts"to"be"submitted"for"publication."
My"involvement"in"the"science"was"expanded"during"the"last"years"of"undergraduate"
studies."I"was"awarded"a"fellowship"to"assist"in"the"teaching"of"laboratories,"and"I"was"required"
to"hold"regular"office"hours"for"supplemental"course"instruction."This"proved"to"be"one"of"the"
most"influential"blessings;"I"learned"that"I"loved"sharing"and"teaching"science."I"cannot"envision"
myself,"in"the"future,"as"a"professional,"without"having"a"role"in"education."This"has"motivated"
my"drive"for"scientific"excellence,"and"I"have"learned"so"much"about"chemistry"from"teaching"it.""
I"made"my"decision"to"pursue"a"doctoral"degree"under"the"guidance"of"Dr."Julia"Stone."I"
have"found"a"balance"between"being"a"teaching"assistant,"student,"researcher,"and"community"
member."I"have"become"a"national"member"of"Engineers"Without"Borders,"and"I"am"working"on"
a"project"that"is"dedicated"to"providing"clean"water"and"health"education"to"a"small"community"
in"Panama."This"is"something"that"I"am"really"excited"about"because"I"am"able"to"use"my"
scientific"background"to"help"with"problems"and"reach"out"to"many"people"in"need."This"is"
important"to"me"because"I"have"seen"the"need"for"help"firsthand."I"was"a"volunteer"and"
missionary"at"an"orphanage"and"youth"group"as"in"Quito,"Ecuador,"and"it"is"amazing"to"see"how"
much"impact"you"can"have"on"the"lives"of"others."I"firmly"believe"in"change,"and"I"believe"that"it"
starts"with"passion,"commitment,"and"service.""
I"am"excited"for"the"challenges"that"are"ahead"of"me"in"graduate"school"and"career."I"
accept"them"with"alacrity."After"graduate"school,"I"want"to"pursue"a"career"in"academic"
research."The"doctoral"degree"will"enable"me"to"work"at"a"research"institution"in"addition"to"
being"an"educator."I"want"to"have"a"direct"impact"on"the"science"of"organic"chemistry"during"
and"after"graduate"school."I"can"see"myself"leading"a"lab"after"completion"of"graduate"school"
and"postdoctoral"research."Also,"a"career"in"academic"research"will"allow"me"the"opportunity"to"
mentor"undergraduate"and"graduate"students"and"attempt"to"foster"the"rich"academic"
community"that"I"was"fortunate"to"receive"an"education"in."
7
Employment Cover Letter (G)
Dr. Diels Alder
Director, Fluid Testing
Prairie Analytical Corporation
Madison, WI 53706
Dear Dr. Alder,
I am writing to express my interest in both of the advertised technician assistant positions
at Prairie Analytical (PAE# MT123 and PAE# MT164) posted on the ChemJobs web site. While
I am attracted to both positions, my preference is for PAE# MT164, as my experience lies in
working with spectroscopy. As the enclosed resume shows, I will graduate from Wausau College
in May with a degree in Chemistry and concentrations in Physics and Astronomy. I am looking
for a technician position and consider the position at Prairie Analytics an ideal opportunity for
my skills and interests. I possess first-hand analysis experience through my former job as a
research assistant for Dr. Janet Westone in the Wausau College Geology department.
My work as a research assistant included taking infrared spectroscopy readings of liquid
samples and performing data entry. Currently, I am employed in the retail sector, but try to stay
informed in the area of spectroscopy by reading journal articles and remaining in touch with Dr.
Westone. In the next few months, I will rejoin Dr. Westone to complete some additional work,
which will include collecting, scoring, entering, and analyzing data that she will use in a research
presentation for the regional NACT chemistry education conference. In addition to hands-on data
collection and research experience, I can offer my knowledge of research methodology and
statistics gained as through my Experimental Methods class. During this time, I have become
well versed in experimental methodology and basic statistical testing through laboratory
activities. In addition, I developed a strong proficiency in Microsoft Excel through helping
fellow students learn its many features for recording, analyzing, and sharing scientific data.
My involvement in positions of leadership at Wausau College has allowed me to develop
additional skills useful to the technician assistant position. As a dining hall supervisor, my
interactions with students and members of the administration have strengthened my interpersonal
and communication skills. As the floor manager of the Jones-Tees clothing store, I developed a
solid background in organization that will aid me in coordinating my instrumental and reporting
activities to meet the demands of our clients. In addition to my research experience and broad
skills, I would bring to Prairie Analytical a strong interest in fluid testing, whether in the food
and agriculture, medical, or other fields. As a lifelong Wisconsin resident, I have a special
interest in the health of our environment and of our people, and I want to support our state’s
businesses.
I believe this interest, coupled with my skills and previous experience, qualify me as a
candidate for one of your technician positions at Prairie Analytical. Thank you in advance for
your consideration. I look forward to speaking with you in order to discuss further my
qualifications for the position. If you would like any additional information, please contact me.
Sincerely,
Name!
8
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