2
IMPORTANT WARNING ON THE LIMITATIONS OF THIS
GUIDE
WARNINGTOREADERS:Thisguidedoesnotprovidelegalopinionsorlegaladviceandis
notintendedtoserveasasubstitutefortheadviceoflicensed,legalprofessionals.Neither
theArizonaSupremeCourt,theAdministrativeOfficeoftheCourts,northeauthorsare
engagedinrenderinglegal,accounting,orotherprofessionalservicesthroughthisguide.
TheArizonaSupremeCourt,theAdministrativeOfficeoftheCourts,andtheauthorsdonot
warrantthattheinformationhereiniscompleteoraccurateanddonotassumeandhereby
disclaimanyliabilitytoanypersonforanylossordamagecausedbyerrors,inaccuracies,
oromissionsthatmayappearinthisguide.
Lawsandinterpretationsoflawschangefrequently,andthematerialcontainedinthis
guidecarrieswithitimportantlegalconsequences.Usersofthismaterialaresolely
responsiblefordeterminingtheapplicabilityofanyinformationcontainedinthisguideto
theirsituationandarestronglyencouragedtoseekprofessionallegalandotherexpert
assistanceinresolvingtheirparentingissues.
3
CONTENTS
ImportantWarningontheLimitationsofthisGuide.................................................................2
UsingThisGuide.........................................................................................................................................4
ToParents.....................................................................................................................................................5
WhichPlanShouldWeChoose?..........................................................................................................7
ParentingTimeSchedules......................................................................................................................9
SummaryofParentingTimeSchedules.........................................................................................10
ChildDevelopmentandSuggestedParentingPlans.................................................................21
Birthto2Years..........................................................................................................................21
2to3Years..................................................................................................................................25
3to5Years..................................................................................................................................28
6to9Years..................................................................................................................................31
10to12Years.............................................................................................................................35
Teenagers(13to18Years)...................................................................................................39
Holidays,Vacations,andSchoolBreaks.........................................................................................45
Long‐DistanceParentingandRelocation......................................................................................49
SpecialIssues.............................................................................................................................................56
AbsentParentReunification................................................................................................56
Blended(Step)Families.........................................................................................................56
Breast‐Feeding...........................................................................................................................57
ChildrenWhoDon’tWanttoSpendTimewithaParent.........................................57
ContactwithanIncarceratedParent................................................................................58
HighConflict................................................................................................................................58
Military..........................................................................................................................................59
NeverMarried.............................................................................................................................59
Safety..............................................................................................................................................60
SchedulesforFamilieswithChildrenofDifferentAges...........................................61
SpecialNeedsChildren...........................................................................................................61
Third‐PartyInvolvement.......................................................................................................61
ProfessionalServicesforParentsandChildren.........................................................................62
WordsYouMayNeedtoKnow..........................................................................................................64
WorkgroupMembers.............................................................................................................................67
4
USING THIS GUIDE
Thisguideforparentingtimeisintendedtoprovidehelpful
ideasinmakingdecisionsaboutparentingtime.Aparenting
planisadocumentthatstateswhenthechildrenwillbewith
eachparent(parentingtime)andhowmajordecisionswillbe
made(legalcustody).Thisguideprovidessampleplansfor
parentstouseinreachingagreementsorpresentingproposals
tothecourt.Attorneys,mentalhealthprofessionals,mediators,
andjudgesmayalsofindtheparentingtimeplansusefulin
resolvingfamilycourtdisputes.
Parentsareencouragedtoreadthismaterialandseek
additionalinformationandadviceinordertomakethebest
decisionsfortheirchildren.Thisguidewillhelpparentsreduce
conflictandreachagreementsmoreeasily.
RememberThisGuide:
ISatoolforparents;
ISNOT“thelaw”;
DOESNOTprohibitorlimitparentsor
judgesfromcreatingparentingplansthat
differfromthesampleplanspresented
here;
DOESNOTmandateaminimumor
maximumamountofparentingtimefor
eitherparent;and
MAYNOTbehelpfulinallcircumstances.
Thisguideisa
toolforyouto
usetodesigna
parentingplan
thatwillwork
bestforyouand
yourchildren.
5
TO PARENTS
Raisingchildrenpresentschallenges.Whenparentsliveinseparate
homes,thechallengesaregreaterbecauserelationshipsbecome
morecomplicated.Sometimesparentsdisagreeabouthowmuch
timechildrenshouldspendwitheachparent.
Astatewidecommitteeofjudicialofficers,mentalhealthproviders,
andattorneyscreatedthisplanningguideafterconsultingwithwell‐
knownexpertsonchilddevelopmentandafterreviewingcurrent
researchandguidelinesfromothercommunities.Decisionsabout
parentingtimedependonmanythings,particularlytheageofthe
child.Thisguideoffersinformationaboutwhatachildlearns,feels,
andneedsatdifferentages.Italsoprovidessuggestedplansforeach
agegroup.
Unlessspecialcircumstancesexist,preservingahealthyandongoing
relationshipbetweenchildrenandbothparentsafterdivorceor
separationisofgreatestimportance.Positiveinvolvementwithboth
parentsfurthersthechild'semotionalandsocialdevelopment,
academicachievement,andoveralladjustment.Adultchildrenof
divorcedescribethelossofcontactwithaparentandconflict
betweentheirparentsasthemostpainfulpartofdivorceorparental
separation.
WHY PARENTING PLANS ARE NECESSARY
Writtenparentingplansprovidechildrenandparentswith
predictabilityandconsistencyandcanpreventfutureconflict.This
guideencouragesopendiscussionandcooperationbetweenparents.
Courtspreferthatparentsreachagreementsaboutparentingtime.
Whenparentsreachagreements,theyaremorelikelytocooperate
astheirchildrengrowup.Childrendobestwhentheirparents
cooperatewitheachother.Thereverseisalsotrue.Childrenwho
experienceongoingconflictbetweenparentsareathighriskfor
sufferingseriouslong‐termemotionalproblems.Ifparentsneedhelp
toworkouttheschedules,court‐sponsoredandprivatemediation
servicesareavailableinmostArizonacounties.
Theparentingplanwillalsoincludeastatementaboutlegalcustody.
InArizona,parentsmayhavesoleorjointlegalcustody.Parentsmay
agreethatoneparentwillhavesolecustodyorthatjointlegal
To Parents
6
custodyisintheirchildren’sbestinterests.Aparentwhohassole
custodyhastherighttomakemajordecisionsaboutthechildren’s
health,education,andreligiousupbringing.Parentswhohavejoint
legalcustodymakesuchdecisionstogether,unlessotherwise
specified.Parentswithjointlegalcustodydonotnecessarilyhave
equalparentingtime.
Thekeytosuccessfulco‐parentingisawrittenparentingplanthat
statestheagreementsparentsreachaboutlegalcustody,thesharing
ofrightsandprivileges,andthescheduleforparentingtime.In
Arizona,jointlegalcustodyrequiresawrittenparentingplanthat
mustbereviewedperiodicallyandprovidesawaytoresolve
conflictsaboutcustodyandparentingtime.Theparentingplanalso
mustincludeastatementthatjointcustodydoesnotnecessarily
meanequalparentingtime.
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDE
Readtheplansforyourchild’sage.
Talkwiththeotherparentabout
custodyandparentingtimethatmeets
yourfamily’sneeds.
Usetheblankcalendaronpage9of
thisguidetomarkthedaysandtimes
eachparentwillhaveparentingtime.
Thisguideincludessamplecalendars
withsamplelanguagetoincludein
courtorders.Theseareexamplesonly.
Youcanchooseanydaysortimesyou
wish.
Parentingplanformsareavailableat
self‐servicecenters,incourthouses,
andontheInternet. Fill out the form
and file it with the court.
If you need help, contact your local
Conciliation Services Department at the
superior court or a private mediator. (See
page 62 for more information.)
7
WHICH PLAN SHOULD WE CHOOSE?
Thefollowingparentingtimeoptionsaredesignedtoallowparents
orthejudge,ifnecessary,tochoosetheproperplanafterconsidering
thefamily’suniquecircumstances.Childrendifferinhowlongthey
arecomfortablebeingawayfromeachparent.Somechildrenlike
spendingmoretimeatonehome,whileothersmovebetweenhomes
easily.Parentsmayneedtoacceptdisruptionoftheirownschedule
andspendmoreorlesstimewiththeirchildrenthantheypreferso
theycangivethechildrenasenseofsecurityandwell‐being.
Whenchoosingaplan,parentsshouldthinkaboutthechild’s
relationshipwitheachparent.Itmaybenefitthechildtochange
fromoneplantoanotherasthechildgetsolder.Ifaparenthasnever
beenapartofachild'slifeorhasn’thadcontactwiththechildforan
extendedperiod,parentingtimeshouldstartslowlyandgradually
increaseasthechildadjustsandfeelscomfortable.
Ifparentsdon’tagreeoncustodyandparentingtime,thejudgewill
evaluatethecase,decidecustody,andorderaplanthejudgefindsis
inthechildren’sbestinterests.
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER WHEN CHOOSING A PLAN
• Howoldisthechild?
• Howmatureisthechild?
• Whatisthechild’spersonality?
• Howstrongisthechild’sattachmenttoeachparent?
• Doesthechildordotheparentshaveanyspecialneeds?
• Whatarethechild’srelationshipswithsiblingsandfriends?
• Aretheparents’homestoofaraparttomaintainregularand
frequentcontact?(Seepage49on"Long–DistanceParentingand
Relocation.”)
• Howflexiblearetheparents’andchild’sschedules?
• Whatchildcarearrangementsareneeded?
• Howandwherewillexchangestakeplace?
• Howwilltransportationbeprovided?
• Howwellcantheparentscommunicateandcooperate?
• Whatarethechild'sandtheparents'culturalandreligious
practices?
Which Plan Should We Choose?
8
• Arethereanyparentalfitnessconcerns,suchasdomestic
violence,substanceabuse,ormentalhealthproblems?
• Whatiseachparent’sabilityandavailabilitytocareforthe
child’sneeds?
• Willtheparentbeabletoexercisetheparentingtime
consistently?
CHILDREN BENEFIT WHEN
PARENTS:
• Helpthechildhaveregularcontactwith
theotherparentbyphone,letter,audio
andvideotapes,e‐mail,andotherformsof
communication
• Keeppredictableschedules
• Areontimeandhavethechildready
whenit’stimeforthechildtogowiththe
otherparent
• Exchangethechildwithoutarguing
• Supportthechild’srelationshipwiththe
otherparent
• Letthechildcarry"important"itemssuch
asfavoriteclothes,toys,andsecurity
blanketswiththembetweentheparents'
homes
• Followsimilarroutinesformealtime,
bedtime,andhomeworktime
• Handlerulesanddisciplineinsimilar
ways
• Supportcontactwithgrandparents,step‐
parents,andotherextendedfamilysothe
childdoesn’tlosetheserelationships
• Areflexiblesothechildcantakepartin
specialfamilycelebrationsandevents
• Giveasmuchadvancenoticeaspossible
totheotherparentaboutspecial
occasionsornecessarychangestothe
schedule
• Providetheotherparentwithtravel
dates,destinations,andplaceswherethe
childandtheparentcanbereachedwhen
onvacation
• Establishworkableandrespectful
communicationwiththeotherparent
• Plantheirvacationsaroundthechild’s
regularlyscheduledactivities.
CHILDREN ARE HARMED WHEN
PARENTS:
• Maketheirchildchoosebetweenthem
• Questiontheirchildabouttheother
parent'sactivitiesorrelationships
• Makepromisestheydon’tkeep
• Dropinandoutofthechild’slife
• Areinconsistentinusingtheirparenting
time
• Arguewithorputdowntheotherparent
infrontofthechildorwherethechild
canoverhear
• Discusstheirpersonalproblemswiththe
childorwherethechildcanoverhear
• Usethechildasamessenger,spy,or
mediator
• Stoporinterferewithparentingtime
becausechildsupporthasn’tbeenpaid
• Don’tshowrespectforeachother
• Underminethechild’srelationshipwith
theotherparent.
9
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULES
Thefollowingplansarejustideasthatmayormaynotwork
foryourchildren.Feelfreetouseoneofthenumberedplans
ordesignaplanthatworksbestforyourchildren,basedon
work,school,activities,andotherconsiderations.
Usethisblankcalendartodesigntheschedulethatbestmeets
yourneeds.
It’srecommendedthatyoureadtheChildDevelopment
sectionthatappliestoyourchildbeforedecidingona
parentingtimeschedule.
Parenting Time Schedule
Sun Mon Tues
Wed
Thurs
Fri Sat
Parenting Time Schedules
10
5
SUMMARY OF PARENTING TIME SCHEDULES
PlanNo. Description
PAGE
BIRTH 24 MOS.
24 – 36MOS.
3 – 5 YEARS
6 – 9 YEARS
1012 YEARS
TEENAGERS
Threeperiodsof3‐5hoursspaced
throughouteachweek
12
23
Twoperiodsof4‐6hoursspacedthroughout
eachweek
12
23

Two3‐5hourperiodsandone8‐hourperiod
spacedthroughouteachweek
12
23
24
25

Twoperiodsof3‐6hoursand1overnight
eachweek
13
23
24

Oneperiodofthreetosixhoursandtwo
non‐consecutiveovernightseachweek
13
24
26

Anequalparentingtimeschedulewherethe
childisn’tawayfromtheotherparentfor
morethantwoconsecutivedays
*Caution–Thisplanisdesignedonly
for
thoseparentswhocanagreeonthisplan.
14
24
*
*
*

Oneperiodof3‐6hoursandtwoconsecutive
overnightseachweek
15
27

1
3
4
6
7
2
Parenting Time Schedules
11
9
10
11
13
PlanNo. Description
PAGE
BIRTH 2 YEARS
2 TO 3 YEARS
3 – 5 YEARS
6 – 9 YEARS
1012 YEARS
TEENAGERS
Twodayswithoneparent(includingovernights)
followedby3dayswiththeotherparent
(includingovernights)withthisschedule
continuingovertime
15
27

Twoconsecutiveovernightseveryotherweek.An
additionalthree‐tosix‐hourperiodorovernight
maybeaddedeachweek.
16
29
32
36
42

Threeconsecutiveovernightseveryotherweek
andanadditional4‐6‐hourperiodeachweek
16
29
32
36
43

FourconsecutiveovernightsduringWeek1and
oneovernightduringWeek2
17
29
33
37
43

Spliteachweekandweekend
18
30
33
37
43

Eachparenthasthesame2consecutiveweekday
overnightseachweekandalternatesthe
weekends
19
30
34
38
43

Theparentssharetimewiththechildduring
alternating7‐dayperiods.Amidweekovernight
periodisoptionalwiththeparentwhodoesn’t
haveparentingtimethatweek.
20
34
38
44

8
12
14
Parenting Time Schedules
12
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLANS 1, 2 AND 3
Parenting Time: Plan
1
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
Sat
Advantages of Plans 1, 2, and 3:
• The child has frequent but short visits
with the non-custodial parent.
• Offers consistency and predictability
• The custodial parent gets a few
“breaks” throughout the week.
Disadvantages of Plans 1, 2, and 3:
• There are 6 exchanges each week,
which might be difficult if the parents
don’t get along.
• The week may seem a bit “choppy” or
broken up.
Parenting Time: Plan 2
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
Sat
Parenting Time: Plan 3
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed Thu Fri
Sat
1
3
2
13
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLANS 4 AND 5
Parenting Time:
Plan 4
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
Sat
Advantages of Plan 4:
• The child has frequent but short visits
with the non-custodial parent.
• The custodial parent has a few
“breaks” throughout the week.
• There is consistency and
predictability.
Disadvantages of Plan 4:
• There are 5-6 exchanges each week,
which might be difficult if the parents
don’t get along.
• The week may seem a bit “choppy” or
broken up.
Advantages of Plan 5:
• The child has frequent but short visits
with the non-custodial parent.
• The custodial parent has almost daily
“breaks.”
Disadvantages of Plan 5:
• There are many (almost daily)
exchanges, which might be difficult if
the parents don’t get along.
• The week may seem a bit “choppy” or
broken up.
Parenting Time: Plan 5
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed Thu Fri
Sat
4
5
Parenting Time Schedules
14
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLAN 6
Advantages of Plan 6
• The child never goes more than two days
without seeing a parent.
• Many parents like the longer blocks of
time to better bond with the child.
Disadvantages of Plan 6
• There is no consistency (what happens in
one week does not happen again for four
weeks), which may make it hard to make
plans.
• Some young children may dislike not
seeing a parent for two full days.
• The week may seem a bit “choppy” or
broken up.
• Neither parent has a full weekend with
or without the child.
Parenting Time: Plan 6
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
Sat
6
Comment: The use of Plan 6 requires a high
degree of communication between the parents,
a low level of conflict about how to parent, and
work schedules and living arrangements that
limit the stress on the child. Plan 6 is designed
only for those parents who can agree on this
plan.
Research clearly shows that children are at risk
of being harmed
if parents argue, act
disrespectfully toward each other, and can’t
talk to each other about their child.
Parenting Time Schedules
15
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLANS 7 AND 8
Parenting Time:
Plan 7
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
Sat
Advantages of Plan 7
:
• The child sees the non-custodial parent 3-
5 days per week and the custodial parent
almost daily.
Disadvantages of Plan 7:
• Only Mondays are consistent every week.
• May seem “choppy” or fragmented
• There are 3-5 exchanges each week,
which might be difficult if the parents
don’t get along.
Advantages of Plan 8
:
• Each parent has solid blocks of time (2-3
days) with the child.
Disadvantages of Plan 8:
• Inconsistent from week to week (what
happens on Monday in Week 1 doesn’t
occur in Week 2)
• It may be confusing for the parents to
follow and remember which days they are
to care for the child.
• Only rarely would a parent have a full
weekend.
• It might be hard to arrange the child’s
extracurricular activities unless both
parents agree. For example, if one parent
wants to enroll the child in karate on
Mondays and the other parent doesn’t
agree, the child may miss several lessons.
Parenting Time: Plan 8
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed Thu Fri
Sat
7
8
Parenting Time Schedules
16
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLANS 9 AND 10
Parenting Time: Plan 9
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs
Fri
Sat
Optional Plan 10 modification:
Parenting Time: Plan
10
Parenting Time: Plan 10
S M Tu W Th F S S M Tu W Th F S
Alternate Sundays can be overnights. Alternate Wednesdays (before other
parent’s weekend) can be overnight.
• Every Wednesday can be overnight OR
• Both alternate Wednesdays and alternate Sundays are overnight.
9
10
Advantages of Plans 9 and 10:
• Consistency/predictability
throughout the school week
Disadvantages of Plans 9 and 10:
• Limited time for one parent
• The child does not see one
parent for six days in alternate
weeks.
Parenting Time Schedules
17
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLAN 11 (ALTERNATING
WEEKENDS)
Parenting Time: Plan 11
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs
Fri
Sat
Advantages of Plan 11:
• Minimal parental face-to-face contact
(none if exchange is Monday morning
at school and pick-up is every Thursday
at school)
• Consistency and predictability most
weekdays (school days)
• Alternate prolonged weekends
(Thursday-Sunday) often appealing in
the summer for short trips
Disadvantages of Plan 11
:
• Six-day block every other week when
the child does not see the non-
residential parent
• Some children may have difficulty on
Monday at school after being away
from the primary parent for four days.
Optional Plan 11 modifications:
Parenting Time – Plan 11
Parenting Time – Plan 11
S M Tu W Th F S S M Tu W Th F S
End weekend on Sunday evening Add Wednesday in alternate weeks
11
Parenting Time Schedules
18
12
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLAN 12 (SPLIT WEEK)
Optional Plan 12 modifications:
Parenting Time: Plan 12
Parenting Time: Plan 12
S M Tu W Th F S S M Tu W Th F S
The exchange can occur on Saturday evening. The exchange can alternate between
Saturday evening one week and Sunday
morning the next week.
Parenting Time : Plan 12
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs
Fri
Sat
Advantages of Plan 12:
• The child never goes more than
three days without seeing a parent.
• Consistency and predictability each
week
• The child can “settle in” at each
household for a few days.
• Most children enjoy having a “stay
home” (weekend) day with each
parent every week.
Disadvantages of Plan 12
:
• Neither parent has a full weekend
(although this can be
accommodated with flexibility
and/or with the holiday and
vacation plans).
Parenting Time Schedules
19
13
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLAN 13
Optional Plan 13 modification:
The Wednesday/Thursday parent’s time
can end on Sunday evening.
Parenting Time: Plan 13
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs
Fri
Sat
Parenting Time: Plan 13
S M Tu W Th F S
Advantages of Plan 13:
• All exchanges can occur at school
or daycare, which is easier for
most children to handle.
• No parental face-to-face contact,
which makes this an ideal plan for
high-conflict parents
• Consistency and predictability on
weekdays
• Full weekends for each parent
• Five-day blocks may be appealing
to many parents (especially in the
summer for “mini” vacations”).
Disadvantages of Plan 13
:
• Five days may be too long to be
away from one or both parents.
• Transitioning every 2-5 days may
seem hard for some children
(especially ensuring that their
clothes, books, toys, etc.,
accompany them).
Parenting Time Schedules
20
PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE: PLAN 14
(ALTERNATING WEEKS)
Parenting Time: Plan
14
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs
Fri
Sat
Optional Plan 14 modification:
Add a mid-week visit (limited hours or
overnight).
Parenting Time: Plan 14
Sun M Tu W Th F Sat
Advantages of Plan 14:
• Limited transitions (actually none if
transitions occur at school)
• The child is able to “settle in” at
each parent’s home.
• By starting the alternate week on
Friday, the child has the weekend to
adjust to the upcoming family
environment.
Disadvantages of Plan 14
:
• Requires effective parental
communication and cooperation to
arrange weekly activities (for
example, soccer on Tuesdays would
have to be agreed upon, flute
lessons on Thursday, etc.)
• Seven days away from each parent
may be unsettling for some children
(particularly younger ones).
• Transitioning to the other parent’s
household after being gone a week
may be difficult.
14
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
21
CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND SUGGESTED PARENTING PLANS
Theseplanstakeintoconsiderationdifferentkindsofsituations
betweenparentsandchildren.Thebondbetweenaparentandchild
willcontinuetogrowaslongastheparentremainsactivelyinvolved
withthechild.However,someparentsmaynothavehadthe
opportunitytobeginformingthatbond.Forexample,whenaplan
includesovernights,it’spresumedthattheparentwithparenting
timenotonlyhascare‐givingexperiencebutthatthechildis
sufficientlybondedtoandusedtobeinginthecareofthatparent.
BIRTH TO 2 YEARS
Babieslearnquickly.Theyarelearningtoloveandtrustfamiliar
caregivers.Babiesbecomeattachedtoparentsandothersthrough
consistent,lovingresponsessuchasholding,playing,feeding,
soothing,talkinggentlyandlovingly,stimulating,creatingbedtime
andbathtimeroutines,andpromptattentiontotheirneeds.Babies
begintorespondtoarangeofdifferent(butequallyvaluable)types
ofparentingstylesthateachparentprovides.
Mostparentshavedifferentwaysofparenting.It’shelpfulifparents
shareinformationabouthowthey’reparentingthechildwhilethe
childisintheircare.Inaddition,parentsneedtobesensitivetotheir
baby’semotionalreactions,abilitytoadjusttochangeswhengoing
fromoneparenttotheother,andmood.Ithelpswhenparentstalk
aboutthesethingswhenmakingorchangingschedules.
Babiescan’trememberthingstheyexperiencedovertime–inother
words,“outofsight,outofmind.”Therefore,it’simportantthatthey
havefrequentcontactwitheachoftheirparentsandhaveastable
scheduleandroutine.Ontheotherhand,babiesdohave"emotional
memories"ofconflictthatcanhavelong‐termnegativeeffects,so
parentsshouldn’targuewhenchildren,evenbabies,canhearthe
arguing.Manybabiesaresensitivetothetensionbetweenthe
parentsatexchange,time,soifyoucan’tbepleasanttoeachother,
youmayneedsomeoneelsetohelpwiththeexchangetimes.
Ataroundsixmonths,babiescanrecognizetheirparentsandother
caregiversandmaybecomeuneasyaroundstrangers.Regular
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
22
Makeexchangeseasier
foryourchildby
followingpredictable
schedules,avoiding
conflictwiththeother
parentinfrontofyour
child,andsupporting
yourchild’srelationship
withtheotherparent.
caregiversunderstandhowthechildsignalstheneedforfood,
comfort,andsleep.Whenawayfromparentsorsignificant
caregivers,babiesmaybecomeanxiousandhaveeatingandsleeping
problems.However,beingawayfromoneparentorcaregiverandin
thecareoftheotherparenttowhomthechildisbondedshouldn’t
beaproblemformostbabies.
Babieshavebasicsleep,feeding,andwakingschedules.It’s
importanttokeepthebabyontheseschedules.Parentsshouldwork
outtheirownplanssotheydon’tinterferewiththebaby’snormal
routine.Also,increatingparentingplansforthisagegroup,parents
oughttothinkaboutthespecialneedsofbreast‐feedingbabies.
Nursingmothersmaywanttoexpressmilkandsendbottleswiththe
babysothefathercanfeedthebabyduringhisparentingtime.
(Formoreinformation,seeBreast‐Feedingonpage57.)
One‐totwo‐year‐oldsarebecomingmoreawareofthe
worldaroundthemandthepeoplewhohavealotof
contactwiththem.Ababyatthisagecanbeattached
tomanycaregivers,includinggrandparents,
extendedfamilymembers,anddaycareproviders.
Babiesarealsobecomingindependentand
developingtheabilitytocomfortthemselvesby
thumbsuckingorholdingontofavoriteblanketsor
toys.Theirsleepingandeatingschedulesare
becomingregular.Theycontinuetorespondtothe
differenttypesofnurturingprovidedbytheirparents.
Two‐year‐oldscommonlytestparentallimits("terrible
twos"),andconsistentandlovingparentalresponsescan
buildthechild’sself‐esteemforyearstocome.
Movingbetweentheparents’homesmaybedifficultforsome
youngsters,andtheymaybecomeupsetatthesetimes.Forsome
children,resistancetoexchangetimeisnormal.Thisbehavior
doesn’tnecessarilymeanthattheotherparentisn’tagoodparentor
thatthechilddoesn’twanttobewiththeotherparent.While
parentsneedtobesensitivetowhateverthechildisexperiencing,
mostchildrencalmdownshortlyaftertheexchange.Youcanmake
exchangeseasierforyourchildbyfollowingpredictableschedules,
avoidingconflictwiththeotherparentinfrontofyourchild,and
supportingyourchild’srelationshipwiththeotherparent.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
23
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR BIRTH TO 2 YEARS
Plans1and2arefor
when:
• Thechildwillspend
lesstimewithone
parentbecauseof
workschedules,living
arrangements,or
greatdistance
betweenhomes,or
• Thechildhasnotyet
developedabondwith
aparent,or
• Aparenthaslimited
parentingskills,or
• Thechildhas
previouslyspentmost
ofthetimewithone
parent.
Plan1Threeperiodsofthreetofivehours
spacedthroughouteachweek(Seeasample
scheduleonpage12.)
Comment:Frequentcontacthelpsthechildbond
witheachparent,somethingthatisimportantfor
thechild’shealthydevelopment.
Plan2‐‐Twoperiodsoffourtosixhoursspaced
throughouteachweek(Seeasamplescheduleon
page12.)
Comment:ThisplanismorehelpfulthanPlan1
whentheparents’workschedules,living
situations,orlevelsofconflictwitheachother
makemorefrequentexchangesdifficult.Because
thisplanhasonlytwovisitseachweek,bonding
betweentheparentandchildmaytakealittle
moretime,andthechildmayhavedifficultygoing
fromoneparenttotheother.
Vacation:Vacationsthataremuchdifferentfrom
theregularparentingtimeschedulearen’t
recommendedunlesstheparentsagree.
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividing
holidaysorspecialoccasionsintimeblockssimilar
totheirregularparentingtime.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plan3ismeantfor
situationswhere:
• Parentshavebeen
usingPlans1or2for
sometime,or
• Parentsmaystartwith
Plan3whenboth
Plan3–Twoperiodsofthreetofivehoursand
oneperiodofeighthoursspacedthroughouteach
week(Seeasamplescheduleonpage12.)
Vacation:Vacationsthataremuchdifferentfrom
theregularparentingtimeschedulearen’t
recommendedunlesstheparentsagree.
1
3
2
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
24
5
parentshaveabond
withthechild,or
• Whenparentingskills
ofeachparentare
adequate,butwhere
oneoftheparentshas
lessavailabletime
thantheotherto
devotetothechild.
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividing
holidaysorspecialoccasionsintimeblockssimilar
totheirregularparentingtime.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plans4,5,and6include
overnights.Theseplans
areforparentswho:
• Havecaredforthe
childaboutequally,or
• Bothknowhowtocare
forthechildovernight,
or
• Livecloseenoughto
eachotherthatthe
childwon’thavelong
cartripsbetweenthe
homes,or
• Cancommunicateand
cooperatewitheach
otheraboutthechild’s
careandwellbeing,or
• Parentshavebeen
successfullyfollowing
Plan3forawhile.
Plan4Twoperiodsofthreetosixhoursand
oneovernighteachweek(Seeasampleschedule
onpage13.)
Plan5‐‐Oneperiodofthreetosixhoursandtwo
non‐consecutiveovernightseachweek.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage13.)
Plan6‐‐Anequalparentingtimeschedulewhere
thechildisn’tawayfromtheotherparentfor
morethantwoconsecutivedays(Seeasample
scheduleonpage14.)
Comment:TheuseofPlan6requiresahigh
degreeofcommunicationbetweentheparents,a
lowlevelofconflictabouthowtoparent,and
workschedulesandlivingarrangementsthat
limitthedifficultiesonthechild.Plan6is
designedonlyforthoseparentswhocanagreeon
thisplan.
Caution:Researchclearlyshowsthatchildren
areatriskofbeingharmed
ifparentsargue,act
disrespectfullytowardeachother,andcan’ttalk
toeachotherabouttheirchild.
Vacation:Vacationsthataremuchdifferent
fromtheregularparentingtimeschedulearen’t
recommendedunlesstheparentsagree.
4
6
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
25
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividing
holidaysorspecialoccasionsintimeblocks
similartotheirregularparentingtime.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
2 TO 3 YEARS
Agestwotothreeareanimportanttimeforchildrentodevelop
independentskills.Althoughchildrenthisagearelearningtobe
independent,theymaystillclingtotheircaregiverandresist
separation,evenfromoneparenttotheother.Theymaysay"NO!"to
parents’requestsanddemandsjusttoexpresstheirindependence.
Theymayalsobefearfulaboutunfamiliaractivitiesandobjects.
Predictable,regularlyscheduledroutineshelpchildrenmanagetheir
fearsandhelpthemlearnthattheworldisasafeplace.Moving
betweenparents'homesmaybecomedifficultforsomechildrenat
thisage,andtheymaybecomeupset.Thisbehaviordoesn’t
necessarilymeanthattheotherparentisn’tagoodparentorthatthe
childdoesn’twanttobewiththeotherparent.Parentsmust
continuetoensurethatthetransitionsbetweenthetwoparents’
homesarefreeofparentalarguingandtension.
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR 2 TO 3 YEARS
Plans3and4arefor
when:
• Thechildwillspend
lesstimewithone
parentbecauseof
workschedules,living
arrangements,or
greatdistance
betweenhomes,or
• Thechildhasnotyet
Plan3:Twoperiodsofthreetofivehoursand
oneperiodofeighthoursspacedthroughouteach
week(Seeasamplescheduleonpage12.)
Plan3Vacation:Vacationsthataremuch
differentfromtheregularparentingtime
schedulearen’trecommendedunlesstheparents
agree.
Plan4:Twoperiodsofthreetosixhoursandone
overnighteachweek(Seeasamplescheduleon
page13.)
3
4
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
26
5
developedabondwith
aparent,or
• Aparenthaslimited
parentingskills,or
• Thechildhas
previouslyspentmost
ofthetimewithone
parent.
Plan4Vacation:Parentsmayhavetwoone‐
weekperiodsseparatedbyatleastfourweeks.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennotice
ofthetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,
eachparentmustgivedetailedinformationtothe
otherparent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoing
andhowtoreachthechildortheparentduring
thevacation.
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividing
holidaysorspecialoccasionsintimeblocks
similartotheirregularparentingtime.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Parentsmaystartwith
Plan5when:
• Bothparentshavea
bondwiththechild,or
• Parentingskillsof
eachparentare
adequate,butwhere
oneparenthasless
availabletimethan
theothertodevoteto
thechild,or
• Parentshavebeen
usingPlans3and4for
sometime.
Plan5:Oneperiodofthreetosixhoursandtwo
non‐consecutiveovernightseachweek.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage13.)
Comment:Ideally,achildthisageshouldn’tbe
separatedonaregularschedulefromeither
parentforlongerthanthreedays.Forlegitimate
reasons,however,suchasvacationandothersuch
reasons,childrencanbeseparatedfromeither
parentforsomewhatlongerperiodsoftime,upto
aweekifneedbe.
Vacation:Parentsmayhavetwoone‐week
periodsseparatedbyatleastfourweeks.Atleast
30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,eachparent
mustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeofthe
traveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtothe
otherparent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoing
andhowtoreachthechildortheparentduring
thevacation.
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividing
holidaysorspecialoccasionsintimeblocks
similartotheirregularparentingtime.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
27
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plans7and8include
overnights.Plans7and8
areforparentswho:
• Havecaredforthe
childaboutequally,or
• Bothknowhowtocare
forthechildovernight,
or
• Livecloseenoughto
eachotherthatthe
childwon’thavelong
cartripsbetweenthe
homes,or
• Cancommunicateand
cooperatewitheach
otheraboutthechild’s
careandwellbeing,or
Parentscanalsochange
toPlan7aftersuccessfully
followingPlan5fora
while.
Plan7:Oneperiodofthreetosixhoursandtwo
consecutiveovernightseachweek.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage15.)
Plan8:Twodayswithoneparent(including
overnights)followedbythreedayswiththeother
parent(includingovernights)withthisschedule
continuingovertime.Thisplanrequiresboth
parentstolivenearenoughtooneanother,manage
conflictsawayfromtheirchild,andcommunicate
wellabouttheirchild.Thisplanmayalsobe
appropriatewhenthereisanolderchildwhospends
considerabletimewithbothparents.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage15.)
Vacation:Parentsmayhavetwoone‐weekperiods
separatedbyatleastfourweeks.Atleast30days
beforetheplannedvacation,eachparentmustgive
theotherparentwrittennoticeofthetraveldates.At
least3daysbeforetravel,eachparentmustgive
detailedinformationtotheotherparent,including
theplacesthey’llbegoingandhowtoreachthechild
ortheparentduringthevacation.
Holidays:Parentsshouldconsiderdividingholidays
orspecialoccasionsintimeblockssimilartotheir
regularparentingtime.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
8
7
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
28
3 TO 5 YEARS
Three‐tofive‐year‐oldsareattachedtotheirregularcaregivers,and
separationmaymakethemuncomfortableandanxious.Theymay
alsobefearfulaboutunfamiliaractivitiesandobjectsandmay
experiencenightfearslike"monsters"underthebed.
Three‐tofive‐year‐oldsmayshowincreasedemotionaldiscomfort
whenmovingbetweenparents'homes.Someofthesechildrenmay
becomeveryupsetatthesetimes.Thisbehaviordoesn’tnecessarily
meanthattheotherparentisn’tagoodparentorthatthechild
doesn’twanttobewiththeotherparent.Parentscanmake
exchangeseasierforchildrenbyfollowingpredictableschedulesand
makingsurethechildisn’texposedtoconflictbetweentheparents.
Childrenaremorelikelytoresistgoingtotheotherparentifthe
parentsaretenseorhostileorarguewitheachotherattheexchange.
Iftensionispresent,thechildmightbecomedifficulttomanageor
mightactoutnegativefeelings.Ifparentscan’tbenicetoeachother,
oratleastcivil,theyshouldavoidtalkingtoeachotheratthese
exchanges.Parentsmustnotusethechildasamessengerto
communicatewiththeotherparent.Childrenmayalsofeelmore
secureiftheycantakefavoritestuffedtoys,familyphotos,orother
objectsthatwillremindthemoftheotherparent.
Afteragethree,childrenbecomemoreawareofholidaycelebrations.
Parentsshouldscheduleholidays,whichmaybereligious,cultural,
ornational,thataremeaningfultothechildandthefamily.Parents
shouldalsoincludebirthdays,Mother’sDay,andFather’sDayinthe
parentingplan.
Three‐tofive‐year‐oldsmaybenefitfromstructuredtimewith
childrentheirownage,awayfromparents.Thistimehelpsthem
developsocialskillsandlearnthattheycanbesafeandhappyaway
frombothparents.
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR 3 TO 5 YEARS
Theplanssuggestedforthe2‐to3‐yearagegrouparealsoappropriateforthisagechild.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
29
10
11
9
Plans9and10arefor
when:
• Thechildwillspend
lesstimewithone
parentbecauseof
workschedules,living
arrangements,or
greatdistance
betweenhomes,or
• Thechildhasnotyet
developedabondwith
aparent,or
• Aparenthaslimited
parentingskills,or
• Thechildhas
previouslyspentmost
ofthetimewithone
parent.
Plan9:Twoconsecutiveovernightseveryother
week.Anadditionalthree‐tosix‐hourperiodor
overnightmaybeaddedeachweek.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage16.)
Plan10:Threeconsecutiveovernightseveryother
weekandanadditionalfour‐tosix‐hourperiodeach
week.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage16.)
Vacation:Eachparentmayhaveupto10daysin
townoroutoftowneachyearortwoone‐week
periodstakenseparatedbyatleastthreeweeks.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingandhow
toreachthechildortheparentduringthevacation.
Holidays:Seethe“Holidays,Vacations,andSchool
Breaks”sectiononpage45.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Parentsmaystartwith
Plan11when:
• Bothparentshavea
bondwiththechild,or
• Parentingskillsof
eachparentare
adequate,butwhere
oneparenthasless
availabletimethan
theothertodevoteto
thechild,or
• Parentshavebeen
successfullyusing
Plan11:FourconsecutiveovernightsduringWeek
1andoneovernightduringWeek2(Seeasample
scheduleonpage17.)
Vacation:Eachparentmayhaveupto10daysin
townoroutoftowneachyearortwoone‐week
periodstakenseparatedbyatleastthreeweeks.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingandhow
toreachthechildortheparentduringthevacation.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
30
13
Plans9and10for
sometime.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plans12and 13include
overnights.Plans12and
13areforparentswho:
• Havecaredforthe
childaboutequally,or
• Bothknowhowto
careforthechild
overnight,or
• Livecloseenoughto
eachotherthatthe
childwon’thavelong
cartripsbetweenthe
homes,or
• Cancommunicateand
cooperatewitheach
otheraboutthechild’s
careandwellbeing,
or
• Parentshavebeen
successfullyfollowing
Plan1forawhile.
Plan12:Spliteachweekandweekend.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage18.)
Comment:Thisplanprovidesaconsistentroutine
andaccommodatesayoungchild'sabilitytobe
apartfromeitherparentforthreetofourdays.It
alsoallowsthechildtohavea"stayhome"day
(SaturdayorSunday)witheachparenteachweek,
whichishelpfultomanyyoungchildren.Ifparents
dislikenothavingfullweekendparentingtime,the
schedulemaybemodifiedtoallowfullweekends
duringthesummeroronholidays.Ifdesired,
parentsmayalternateexchangessooneweekone
parenthasthreeovernightsandtheotherhasfour
overnightsandthenextweekthenumberof
overnightsisreversed.
Plan13:Eachparenthasthesametwoconsecutive
weekdayovernightseachweekandalternatesthe
weekends.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage19.)
Comment:Thisplanprovideseachparentwith
alternatingfullweekendswithandwithoutthe
children.Thechildisawayfromeachparentduring
alternateweeksforfivedays,whichmaybedifficult
forsomechildrenthisage.Thisiscommonly
referredtoasa5‐2‐2‐5schedule.Thisplanisideal
whenoldersiblingswouldbenefitfromthis
schedule.Thisplanishelpfulwhentheparents’
levelofconflictmakesexchangesdifficult,because
allexchangescantakeplaceatdaycare.
12
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
31
6 TO 9 YEARS
Six‐tonine‐year‐oldchildrenmayworrythatoneparentdoesn’t
lovethemorthattheywillloseoneparent.Theymaymissthe
absentparentandfeelsad,confused,andangryabouttheirparents’
divorce.Theyalsomaytrytogettheirparentstobacktogether.
Somesix‐tonine‐year‐oldchildrenbenefitfromspendingmoretime
atonehome,whileothersmovebackandforthonaregularbasis
withease.Childrendifferinhowlongtheyarecomfortablebeing
awayfromeachparent.Somemaybecomfortablebeingawayfrom
theircustodialorprimaryresidentialparentonaregularbasisfor
twoormoredays.Ifthechildhasspentconsiderablequalitytime
withtheparentwhohasparentingtime,thechildmaycopebetter
withalongseparationfromtheotherparent.Asachildmatures,
longerperiodsofparentingtimewithfewerexchangesbetween
parentsmaybepreferred.
Inmakingaparentingtimeschedule,parentsshouldkeeptheirwork
schedulesinmindandtrytousetheirtimeofffromworktospendas
Vacation:Eachparentmayhaveupto10daysin
townoroutoftowneachyearortwoone‐week
periodstakenseparatedbyatleastthreeweeks.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingand
howtoreachthechildortheparentduringthe
vacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
32
9
10
muchtimeaspossiblewiththechild.Ifaparent’sworkschedule
changesfromweektoweek,theparentingplanmayletthatparent
spendtimewiththechildontheparent’sdaysofffromworkafter
givingplentyofadvancenoticetotheotherparent.
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR 6 TO 9 YEARS
Plans9and10arefor
when:
• Thechildwillspend
lesstimewithone
parentbecauseof
workschedules,living
arrangements,or
greatdistance
betweenhomes,or
• Thechildhasnotyet
developedabondwith
aparent,or
• Aparenthaslimited
parentingskills,or
• Thechildhas
previouslyspentmost
ofthetimewithone
parent.
Plan9:Twoconsecutiveovernightseveryother
week.Anadditionalthree‐tosix‐hourperiodor
overnightmaybeaddedeachweek.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage16.)
Plan10:Threeconsecutiveovernightseveryother
weekandanadditionalfour‐tosix‐hourperiod
eachweek.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage16.)
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationwiththechild.Two
two‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.At
least30daysbeforethevacation,eachparentmust
givetheotherparentwrittennoticeofthetravel
dates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,eachparent
mustgivedetailedinformationtotheotherparent,
includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingandhowto
reachthechildortheparentduringthevacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
33
11
Parentsmaystartwith
Plan11when:
• Bothparentshavea
bondwiththechild,or
• Parentingskillsof
eachparentare
adequate,butwhere
oneparenthasless
availabletimethan
theothertodevoteto
thechild,or
• Parentshavebeen
usingPlans9and10
forsometime.
Plan11:FourconsecutiveovernightsduringWeek
1andoneovernightduringWeek2.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage17.)
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.Atleast
30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,eachparent
mustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeofthe
traveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingandhow
toreachthechildortheparentduringthevacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plans12,13,and14
includeovernights.These
plansareforparentswho:
• Havecaredforthe
childaboutequally,or
• Bothknowhowto
careforthechild
overnight,or
• Livecloseenoughto
eachotherthatthe
childwon’thavelong
Plan12:Spliteachweekandweekend.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage18.)
Comment:Thisplanletstheparentstakepart
aboutequallyinthechild’sschoollife.Itprovidesa
consistentroutine,accommodatesachild’sability
tobeapartfromeitherparentforthreeorfour
days,andallowsthechildtohavea"stayhome"day
(SaturdayorSunday)witheachparenteachweek,
whichishelpfultomanyyoungchildren.Parents
whowantfullweekendswithorwithoutthechild
maynotlikethisschedule,butitcanbewrittento
allowfullweekendsduringthesummeroron
holidays.Also,theschedulecanbewrittensothat
12
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
34
13
cartripsbetweenthe
homes,or
• Cancommunicateand
cooperatewitheach
otheraboutthechild’s
careandwellbeing,
or
• Parentshavebeen
successfullyfollowing
Plan11forawhile.
inWeek1,ParentAhasthreeovernightsand
ParentBhasfour,andinWeek2,ParentBhas
threeovernightsandParentAhasfour.
Plan13:Eachparenthasthesametwo
consecutivemidweekovernightseachweekand
alternatestheweekends.Thisiscommonlyreferred
toasthe5‐2‐2‐5plan.Eachweek,thechildspends
MondayandTuesdaynightwithParentAand
WednesdayandThursdaynightwithParentB.In
Week1,thechildspendstheweekendwithParent
A.InWeek2,thechildspendstheweekendwith
ParentB.(Seethesamplescheduleonpage19.)
Comment:Thisplanprovideseachparentwith
alternatingfullweekendswithandwithoutthe
children.Thechildisawayfromeachparentduring
alternateweeksforfivedays,whichmaybedifficult
forsomechildren.Thisplanishelpfulwhenthe
parents’levelofconflictmakesexchangesdifficult,
becauseallexchangescantakeplaceatschoolor
daycare.
Plan14:Theparentssharetimewiththechild
duringalternatingseven‐dayperiods.Amidweek
overnightperiodisoptionalwiththeparentwho
doesn’thaveparentingtimethatweek.Thebest
exchangetimeinmostcasesisFridayafterschool
orwork.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage20.)
Comment:Themoreconsistentthechild’slifeis
fromweektoweek,theeasieritisforthechild.
Parentswhocan’tcommunicateandworkwellwith
eachotherwillfindithardtomakethisplan
succeedforthechild.Forexample,ifoneparent
wantstoenrollthechildinkaratelessonson
Tuesdayevenings,theotherparentshouldtakethe
childtokaratewhenthechildiswiththatparent.
Asanotherexample,thechildmayhaveahardtime
inschoolifParentAhandleshomeworkdifferently
thanParentB.Allexchangesforthisplancantake
placeatschoolordaycareifdesired.
14
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
35
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingand
howtoreachthechildortheparentduringthe
vacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
10 TO 12 YEARS
Ten‐to12‐year‐oldchildrenoftenwanttobeindependentfrom
theirparentsandarebecomingmoreattachedtotheirfriends.They
mayblameoneparentforthedivorce,maybeangryand
embarrassedbythebreakupofthefamily,andmaysidewithone
parent.
Childrenofthisageoftenwanttohaveasayinwheretheylive.
Parentsshouldletthemexpresstheirviews,whilemakingitclearit
isuptotheparentstomakethefinaldecisions.Aschildrenbegin
juniorhighschool,parentsshouldmakesuretheparentingplan
considersthechild’sschoolandextracurricularactivities.The
parentsalsoshouldconsiderthechild’sdesireforanoccasional
overnightwithfriendsawayfrombothhomes.Parentsshouldbe
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
36
9
flexiblewhileatthesametimemakingsurethateachparenthas
parentingtimeregularly.
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR 10 TO 12 YEARS
Plans9and10arefor
when:
• Thechildwillspend
lesstimewithone
parentbecauseof
workschedules,living
arrangements,or
greatdistance
betweenhomes,or
• Thechildhasnotyet
developedabondwith
aparent,or
• Aparenthaslimited
parentingskills,or
• Thechildhas
previouslyspentmost
ofthetimewithone
parent.
Plan9:Twoconsecutiveovernightseveryother
week.Anadditionalthree‐tosix‐hourperiodor
overnightmaybeaddedeachweek.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage16.)
Plan10:Threeconsecutiveovernightseveryother
weekandanadditionalfour‐tosix‐hourperiod
eachweek.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage16.)
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingand
howtoreachthechildortheparentduringthe
vacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
10
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
37
11
Parentsmaystartwith
Plan11when:
• Bothparentshavea
bondwiththechild,or
• Parentingskillsof
eachparentare
adequate,butwhere
oneparenthasless
availabletimethan
theothertodevoteto
thechild,or
• Parentshavebeen
usingPlans9and10
forsometime.
Plan11:FourconsecutiveovernightsduringWeek
1andoneovernightduringWeek2.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage17.)
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.Atleast
30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,eachparent
mustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeofthe
traveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingandhow
toreachthechildortheparentduringthevacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
Plans12,13,and14
includeovernights.These
plansareforparentswho:
• Havecaredforthe
childaboutequally,or
• Bothknowhowto
careforthechild
overnight,or
• Livecloseenoughto
eachotherthatthe
childwon’thavelong
Plan12:Spliteachweekandweekend.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage18.)
Comment:Thisplanletstheparentstakepart
aboutequallyinthechild’sschoollife.Italso
providesaconsistentroutine,accommodatesa
child’sabilitytobeapartfromeitherparentfor
threeorfourdays,andallowsthechildtohavea
"stayhome"day(SaturdayorSunday)witheach
parenteachweek,whichishelpfultomanyyoung
children.Parentswhowantfullweekendswithor
withoutthechildmaynotlikethisschedule,butit
canbewrittentoallowfullweekendsduringthe
summeroronholidays.Also,theschedulecanbe
12
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
38
13
cartripsbetweenthe
homes,or
• Cancommunicateand
cooperatewitheach
otheraboutthechild’s
careandwellbeing,
or
• Parentshavebeen
successfullyfollowing
Plan11forawhile.
writtensothatinWeek1,ParentAhasthree
overnightsandParentBasfour,andinWeek2,
ParentBhasthreeovernightsandParentAhas
four.
Plan13:Eachparenthasthesametwo
consecutivemidweekovernightseachweekand
alternatestheweekends.Thisiscommonlyreferred
toasthe5‐2‐2‐5plan.Eachweek,thechildspends
MondayandTuesdaynightwithParentAand
WednesdayandThursdaynightwithParentB.In
Week1,thechildspendstheweekendwithParent
A.InWeek2,thechildspendstheweekendwith
ParentB.(Seethesamplescheduleonpage19.)
Comment:Thisplanprovideseachparentwith
alternatingfullweekendswithandwithoutthe
children.Thechildisawayfromeachparentduring
alternateweeksforfivedays,whichmaybedifficult
forsomechildren.Thisplanishelpfulwhenthe
parents’levelofconflictmakesexchangesdifficult,
becauseallexchangescantakeplaceatschoolor
daycare.
Plan14:Theparentssharetimewiththechild
duringalternatingseven‐dayperiods.Amidweek
overnightperiodisoptionalwiththeparentwho
doesn’thaveparentingtimethatweek.Thebest
exchangetimeinmostcasesisFridayafterschool
orwork.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage20.)
Comment:Themoreconsistentthechild’slifeis
fromweektoweek,theeasieritisforthechild.
Parentswhocan’tcommunicateandworkwellwith
eachotherwillfindithardtomakethisplan
succeedforthechild.Forexample,ifoneparent
wantstoenrollthechildinkaratelessonson
Tuesdayevenings,theotherparentshouldtakethe
childtokaratewhenthechildiswiththatparent.
Asanotherexample,thechildmayhaveahardtime
inschoolifParentAhandleshomeworkdifferently
thanParentB.Allexchangesforthisplancantake
placeatschoolordaycareifdesired.
14
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
39
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingand
howtoreachthechildortheparentduringthe
vacation.
Holidays:Parentsmayalternate,share,orsplitthe
holidaysforchildrenofthisage.The"Holidays,
Vacations,andSchoolBreaks"sectiononpage45
offerssomeideasofwhattothinkaboutandhowto
divideholidaysandotherspecialdays.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
TEENAGERS (13 TO 18 YEARS)
Theteenagerisdevelopinggreaterindependenceandbeginningto
separatefromthefamily,includingbothparents.Teensstarttofeel
likeyoungadultswhothinktheynolongerneedtheirparents,but
theyalsohavetimeswhentheystillwanttheirparentstotakecare
ofthem.Theybegintoplanfordrivinganddating,andtheyare
thinkingaboutcollegeorwork.
Theyarefeelingthepressuresofschool,family,andfriends,andthey
maynotlikeastrictparentingtimeschedule.Theymayshowtheir
dissatisfactionbybecomingirritableormoodyorhavinganattitude
theyneverhadbefore.Manylacktheskillstoexpressthemany
strongbutconflictingemotionsthatgoalongwithgrowingup.When
parentsareestablishingaparentingtimescheduleorthinkingabout
makingchangesinanexistingschedule,theyshouldgivemore
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
40
thoughttotheneedsandwishesoftheirteenager.Parentsshouldlet
themexpresstheirviews,whilemakingitclearitisuptotheparents
tomakethefinaldecisions.
Duringaseparationordivorce,parentsoftenfeeltheneedtopull
theirteenclosertothemtoreassurethemselvestheyaren’tlosing
theirchildtotheotherparent.Sometimesparentsaretemptedtoget
theirchildontheirside.Ateenmayavoidbothparentsorrejectone
parentandclingtotheother,especiallyiftheparentsareputting
theminthemiddleoftheirconflict.Someteenswantlittleornothing
todowitheitherparentandturntofriendsor
otherstotalktowhoaren’tpartoftheconflict.
Teensareoftenconfusedandangryattheway
theirparentsareactingandmayfeeltheir
parentshaven’tbeenconcernedabouthow
thedivorceorseparationisaffectingthem.
Thestrongconflictingemotionsthey
experiencemaycausethemtoactinnewand
unfamiliarwaysastheystruggletodealwith
thesechangesintheirlives.Therefore,parents
shouldn’tassumethattheirchild’smoodswingsoractingoutare
causedbytheotherparent.
13TO15YEARS–EARLYTEENS
Childrenbetweenages13and15continuetousethefamilyasabase
ofsupportandguidance.Thisisatimewhenthechildisstrivingfor
independencebutstillistiedtotheparents.Teens,formany
differentreasons,begintoassertmoreindependenceatdifferent
ages.Decision‐makingabilitiesvarywidelyamongteensinthisage
groupaswellasfromonesituationtoanother.
Teensoftenhaveoutsideintereststhatcompetewiththescheduled
parentingplan.Theyfrequentlyprefertospendmoretimewiththeir
friendsthantheirparentsandmaybecomeresentfulorangryifthey
can’tdowhattheywanttodo.
Teensmaytrytoreachadealwithoneorbothparentstogetwhat
theywant,whichmayaffecteitherparent’sparentingtime.It’s
importantforparentstotalkwitheachothertodecidewhentheir
parentingplanshouldbemoreflexible.
Parentsshouldlettheirteen
expresshisorherviews,while
makingitclearitisuptothe
parentstomakethefinal
parentingtimedecisions.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
41
16TO18YEARS–LATETEENS
It’simportantforparentsofteenagersofthisagetomaintainthe
child’saccessibilitytoschool,friends,extracurricularand
communityactivitiesfrombothhomes.
Teensmayfeeltheyshouldhavemoreindependenceandmayresist
arigidparentingtimeschedule.Parentsmustaddgreaterflexibility
totheparentingplanbythinkingaboutthechild’swishesand
decidingparentingtimeissueswiththechild.Thatway,teenagers
won’tfeelforcedtocomplywithaparentingscheduleinwhichthey
hadnosaybutinsteadwillfeelliketheyaredoingsomethingthey
wanttodo.
Yourteenmaybenefitfromaprimaryhomebase,withspecific
evenings,weekends,andactivitiesattheotherhomescheduledona
regularandpredictablebasis.Morethananything,yourteenager
willusuallywantasayintheparentingplanbuttheteendoesn’tget
tochoose.Regardlessofyourteen’sneeds,theparentingplanshould
includetheconsiderationslistedbelow:
• work
• extracurricularactivities
• sociallife
• increasedschoolwork
• jobs
• peerrelationships
• sports
Manyteenspreferoneprimaryhome(closetotheirfriends),and
weekendsoreveningswiththeotherparent.Somewillprefera
balanced,50‐50planwiththeirparents.Muchofthiswilldependon
thehistoryoftherelationshipwitheachother,thedistancebetween
parents,andtheparents’availabilitytomeettheirchild’sneeds.
DESIGNING A PLAN FOR TEENS
Parentsofteensshouldthinkaboutthechild’sscheduleand
commitments,distancebetweentheparents’homes,eachparent’s
workscheduleorotherobligations,thechild’stemperamentand
wishes,andateen’sneedforunstructuredtime.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
42
9
Parentsmayneedtothinkaboutmanycircumstanceswhenmaking
schedulesforteenagers.Theirinvolvementwithschool,friends,
clubs,sports,orothercommitmentscancreateanexhausting
schedule.Theresultmaybethattheteenishomeforlittlemorethan
sleepingandeating,leavingnotimeforfamilyorparents.
Parentsmaylosealotoftimewiththeirteensbecauseactivitiesor
friendstakeevenmoreoftheteen’stime.Planningthescheduleofa
teenthatcanbalancealloftheseareasmayrequirethehelpof
professionals,suchascounselors,mediators,orparenting
coordinators,whohavecreatedsuchplans,iftheparentsareunable
todoso.
It’schallengingtocreateparentingschedulesforthisagegroup
becauseeachfamily’scircumstancesareunique.It’sespecially
importantforparentstobeflexiblewhencreatingaparentingplan
withateenager.Whenparentsagree,aflexibleschedulemaywork
bestforateenaslongastheparentsareabletoworktogetherwith
littleconflictandtheteenspendstimewitheachparent.Inthiscase,
teenscanplantheirschedulebasedontheiractivitiesandsocial
lives.Theamountoftimetheyspendateitherparent’shouseisdue
totheteen’sinterests,notapreferenceforoneparentovertheother.
Having“NoPlan”maybeanacceptablealternativethatdoesn’tfavor
oneparentandyetstillallowstheteentohaveaschedulethat
supportshisorherlife.Thefactthatthereisnoplanshouldn’t
underminetheparent‐childrelationship.
Thisisalsoatimewhenchildrenmaytalkaboutadesireforahome
basebecauseofthegrowingimportanceoftheirownfriendsand
activities.Bothparentscanincreasecontactthroughregular
attendanceatthechild’sathletic,performance,academic,orother
activities.Thisallowsforalargeamountofparentalinvolvementin
activitiesimportantinthechild’slife.
Althoughmanydifferent
plansmayworkforteens,
herearegeneraloptions
thatcanbeaframework
fordevelopingaplan.
Plan9‐‐Twoconsecutiveovernightseveryother
week.Anadditionalthree‐tosix‐hourperiodor
overnightmaybeaddedeachweek.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage16.)
Comment:Providesahomebaseforthechildwith
timewiththenon‐residentialparentduringthe
weekandonweekends.
It’simportant
forparentsto
beflexible
when
creatinga
parenting
planwitha
teenager.
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
43
13
Plan10‐‐Threeconsecutiveovernightsevery
otherweekandanadditionalfour‐tosix‐hour
periodeachweek.(Seeasamplescheduleonpage
16.)
Comment:Thismayornotoccur,dependingon
theteen.
Plan11:FourconsecutiveovernightsduringWeek
1andoneovernightduringWeek2.(Seeasample
scheduleonpage17.)
Plan12:Spliteachweekandweekend.(Seea
samplescheduleonpage18.)
Comment:Thisplanletstheparentstakepart
aboutequallyinthechild’sschoollife.Italso
providesaconsistentroutine,accommodatesa
child’sabilitytobeapartfromeitherparentfor
threeorfourdays,andallowsthechildtohavea
"stayhome"day(SaturdayorSunday)witheach
parenteachweek.Parentswhowantfullweekends
withorwithoutthechildmaynotlikethisschedule,
butitcanbewrittentoallowfullweekendsduring
thesummeroronholidays.Also,theschedulecan
bewrittensothatinWeek1,ParentAhasthree
overnightsandParentBasfour,andinWeek2,
ParentBhasthreeovernightsandParentAhas
four.
Plan13:Eachparenthasthesametwoconsecutive
midweekovernightseachweekandalternatesthe
weekends.Thisiscommonlyreferredtoasthe5‐2‐
2‐5plan.Eachweek,thechildspendsMondayand
TuesdaynightwithParentAandWednesdayand
ThursdaynightwithParentB.InWeek1,thechild
spendstheweekendwithParentA.InWeek2,the
childspendstheweekendwithParentB.(Seethe
samplescheduleonpage19.)
Comment:Thisplanprovideseachparentwith
alternatingfullweekendswithandwithoutthe
children.Thechildisawayfromeachparentduring
alternateweeksforfivedays.
11
12
10
Child Development and Suggested Parenting Plans
44
Plan14‐‐Alternatingseven‐dayperiodswithor
withoutmid‐weektime.Mid‐weektimemayadd
moreschedulingchallenges.(Seeasampleschedule
onpage20.)
Vacation:Eachyear,eachparentcantakefromto
twotofourweeksofvacationtimewiththechild.
Twotwo‐weekperiodsmaybebestforyounger
children.Ifafour‐weekvacationperiodisusedand
thechildisintown,thechildshouldhavethe
opportunitytobewiththenon‐vacationingparent
foroneweekendduringthevacationperiod.At
least30daysbeforetheplannedvacation,each
parentmustgivetheotherparentwrittennoticeof
thetraveldates.Atleast3daysbeforetravel,each
parentmustgivedetailedinformationtotheother
parent,includingtheplacesthey’llbegoingand
howtoreachthechildortheparentduringthe
vacation.Keepinmindyourteen’sworkschedules
andextracurricularactivities.
Createyourownscheduleusingthesample
formonpage9.
14
45
HOLIDAYS, VACATIONS, AND SCHOOL BREAKS
Thescheduleforholidays,vacations,andschoolbreakstakes
priorityovertheregularlyscheduledparentingtime.Indeciding
howtoscheduletheseevents,thinkaboutitfromyourchild’spoint
ofview.Childrenenjoyhavingtheopportunitytohavespecialtime
witheachparentandextendedfamilymembers.Eachparentmay
needtoencouragehisorherextendedfamilytoadjustsomeoftheir
schedulessothechildcanparticipateincelebrationsduring
parentingtime.Also,thinkaboutthechild’sneedtohavecontact
withtheotherparentduringextendedvacationtime.Scheduled
phonecallsduringavacationcanhelpreduceanxietyforboththe
parentandthechildwithoutdisruptingthevacation.
Wheneverthechildwillbetravelingtoadifferentplace,it’s
importantfortheparentstoshareinformationaboutwheretheywill
bestaying,howtheycanbecontacted,andwhentheywillbe
returning.Ifthevacationingparentprovidesawrittenschedulethat
includesthisinformation,thenon‐vacationingparentwillbeassured
oftheabilitytocommunicateincaseofemergency.Inthatsameway,
thenon‐vacationingparentshouldprovidecontactinformationifhe
orshewillnotbeathomeduringthechild’svacation.
Indeterminingwhattodoaboutschoolbreaks,considerthechild’s
activitiesandtheavailabilityofoneorbothparentsduringthe
break.Ifthechildneedsdaycare,theparentscanconsideraplan
thatminimizesdaycareduringthebreak.Ifbothparentsmustwork,
thechildmaystillenjoyabreakfromtheregularschedulethat
allowshimorhertospendmoretimewithaparentthanisusual.
HOLIDAYS
Thefirststepistodecidewhatholidayseitherofyouwishto
celebrate.Keepinmindthetraditionsthechildhasexperienced
throughhisorherlifeandhowtheholidayparentingtimemight
affectthesetraditionsandthechild’ssecurity.Childrenthriveon
healthytraditionsandcelebrationsandrespondmore
enthusiasticallytoaplanwhenbothparentsworkonittogetherand
supportit.
Holidays, Vacations, and School Breaks
46
Here’salistoftypicalholidays.Choosetheonesthatapplytoyour
familyandaddanyothersthatshouldbeincludedintheparenting
timeplan.
IndependenceDay/4
th
ofJuly MartinLutherKing,Jr./Civil
LaborDay RightsDay
RoshHashanah Halloween
YomKippurPresidents’Day
Veterans’DayPassover
ThanksgivingEaster
HanukahMother’sDay
ChristmasEveMemorialDay
ChristmasDayFather’sDay
NewYear’sEve Child’sbirthday
NewYear’sDay Parents’birthdays
Afteryoudecidewhichholidaysapply,thinkaboutwhetherall
holidaysshouldbehandledthesamewayorwhetheritmakesmore
sensetodividesomeandalternatesome.Manyparentsagreethat
thechildrenwillbewiththemothereveryMother’sDayandthe
fathereveryFather’sDay.Manyparentsdividemostoftheholidays
butsplitupthetimeondaysthatarespecialforbothparents,such
asChristmasEveandChristmasorthechild’sbirthday.
VACATIONS
Mostparentsagreetoasettimeforeachparenttoenjoyavacation
withthechild.Whetheryou’retravelingforvacationorjuststaying
home,yourchildwillenjoyspendinganytimeyoucantakeaway
fromworkwithyou.Whetheraparenthastheabilitytotaketimeoff
fromwork,vacationparentingtimeisintendedtoalloweachparent
thechancetoeithertravelorstayhomeandspendanuninterrupted
periodoftimewiththeirchild.
Achildmaybecomeanxiousifawayfromaparentformuchlonger
thanusual.Schedulingaphonecallmidwaythroughaweeklong
vacation,forinstance,mayhelpthechildhandletheseparation.
Sometimesfrequentcallsfromthe“away”parentcancausethechild
tofeelsadnessandlonging.Ifbothparentsaresensitivetotheneeds
oftheirchild,theycanfindabalancebetweencontactandtoomuch
contact.Ifalongvacationperiodisgoingtobespentathome,or
Holidays, Vacations, and School Breaks
47
closetohome,itmightmakesensetobreakitupwithashortvisit
withtheotherparent.Parentsneedtomakeallofthesedecisions
aheadoftimetoreduceconflictbetweenthemandtoprovide
predictabilityforthechild.
Becausetransportation,weather,andotherissuescancause
problemsduringtravel,it’simportanttoprovidetheotherparent
withdetailsaboutwhenandwheretravelwilloccur.Detailsinclude
flightnumbersandtimes,hotels,placeswherethechildwillbe
staying,andtelephonenumbers.Ifanemergencyarises,aparent
shouldbeabletocontacttheotherparentorthechild.Theparent
travelingwiththechildshouldhavepassports,traveldocumentation
(includinganotarizedconsenttotravelformiftravelingoutsidethe
UnitedStates),updatedmedicalinformation,insurancecards,
prescriptionsandanyotherspecialsuppliesthechildwillneed.
Communicationaboutwheneachparentwillusevacationtime
needstotakeplacewellinadvanceofthevacation.Becauseofschool
schedules,mostparentsplanvacationsinthesummerandwilloften
setadeadlinetocommunicatethedatesoftheirvacations.For
instance,ifeachparenthasatwo‐weekperiod,theymaydecidethat
inevenyears,ParentAwillhavethefirstchancetochoosethe
vacationdatesandmustcommunicatethosedaysinwritingbyApril
1;ParentBwillthenchoosethevacationdatesoutoftheremaining
datesandcommunicatethosedaysinwritingbyApril15.Inthis
example,ParentBwouldhavefirstchoiceinodd‐numberedyears.
SCHOOL BREAKS
Schooldistrictswilldeterminethebreakscheduleandusually
publishtheiryearlycalendarswellinadvance.Mostdistrictshave
websitesthatprovidecurrentschedules.Aswithholidays,thefirst
stepistodeterminewhichbreakstheschoolobserves.Schoolsmay
havespring,summer,fall,andwinterbreaksaswellasearlyrelease
orotherschoolreleasedays.
Iftheparentshavearegularparentingtimeschedulewithnearly
equaltime,manyparentswillnotchangetheparentingtime
scheduleduringtheschoolbreaks.Theregularschedulewill
continue.Otherparentswilldecidetoalternatebreakseachyearor
sharethebreakbysplittingthetimebetweeneachparent.Sincethe
Holidays, Vacations, and School Breaks
48
breakssometimesoccuratthesametimeastheholidays,suchas
ChristmasorPassoverandEaster,itmaybehelpfultolookatthe
holidayscheduleatthesametimewhenplanningthebreak
schedule.
Herearesomeideasonhowtosharetheholidaysandlanguageyoucanusewhenyoucreateyour
parentingplan.
Divide Splitthedayorweekend(notnecessarilyequally)betweenbothparents.
Sampleparentingplanlanguage:ThechildrenwillbewithParentAon
________________(namethespecificholiday,suchasThanksgiving)from9:00a.m.to2:00
p.m.andwithParentBfrom2:00p.m.to8:00p.m.
Alternate Thechildrenarewithoneparentonspecifiedholidaysinevenyearsandwiththe
otherparentinoddyears.
Sampleparentingplanlanguage:ThechildrenwillbewithParentAon
________________(specificholiday,suchasThanksgiving)inallevenyearsfrom9:00a.m.
to5:00p.m.andwithParentBinallyearsfrom9:00a.m.to5:00p.m.
Substitute Thechildrenalwaysspendaspecificholidaywithoneparent(forexample,
Halloween)inexchangeforadifferentholidaywiththeotherparent(forexample,
FourthofJuly).
Sampleparentingplanlanguage:Thechildrenwillspend________________(specific
holiday,suchasFourthofJuly)eachyearwithParentAand________________(specific
holiday,suchasHalloween)withParentBeachyear.
Follow Thechildrenfollowtheirregularscheduleandcelebratetheholidaywiththe
regular assignedparentwhohasparentingtimeonthatdayortime.
schedule
Sampleparentingplanlanguage:Thechildrenwillcelebrate________________
(specificholiday,suchasFourthofJul y)asitfallsontheregularlyscheduledparenting
time.
49
LONG–DISTANCE PARENTING AND RELOCATION
Parentsmustbeawareoftheimpactofrelocationontheirchildand
thatrelocationmayrequirethepermissionofajudge.Long‐distance
parentingrulescanapplywheneverthemovebetweenhomesis
morethan100milesorthereistravelbetweentwostates.Please
readtheArizonarelocationstatute,A.R.S.§25‐408,beforethinking
aboutamove.Thestatutepermitsalong‐distancemoveofachild
onlywhenthemoveisinthebestinterestsofthechild.Thestatute
canbefoundinpubliclibrariesorontheInternetbyfollowingthe
linksat0www.az.gov.
Disagreementsaboutlong‐distanceparentingtimeoftenresultinthe
judgemakingadecision.Unfortunately,adecisionbyajudgemay
notpleaseeitherparty.Eachrelocationcaseisunique,andtheright
decisionisbasedonthespecificfactsforeachfamily.Parentsshould
makeaseriousefforttoresolveaparentingtimedisputethemselves
orwiththehelpofamediator,oranattorney.Anyreasonable
agreementbetweentheparentsnegotiatedingoodfaithisusually
betterthanhavingajudgedecidethematteraftertheexpenseand
stressofacourthearing.
Aparentwhowantstomovealongdistancewith,orwithout,achild
shouldthinkaboutmanythingsbeforemakingadecision.Long
distancesoftenweakentherelationshipsbetweenchildrenand
parents.Ifthemoveisnecessary,parentsmightwanttoconsider
relocatingbothhouseholdstothesamecity.Ifitisn’tpossible,
parentingtimeforthedistantparentmustbeatregularandfrequent
timesduringtheyear.Thecourtconsidersmanyfactors,andparents
shouldthinkaboutthesefactors.Eachparentshouldtakeamoment
and“standintheotherparentandthechild’sshoes.”Whatistheir
pointofview?HowwouldIfeelifmychildmovedawaytoanother
city?Thinkaboutallthefactsincludingtheageandmaturityofthe
child,thechild’sdevelopmentalneeds,siblingbonds,schooland
workschedules,transportationcosts,thepresenceofsupportive
familyandfriendsineachcity,andthegainsorlossofextended
family.
Formostchildren,along‐distancemovemayresultinlessregular
contactwithbothparents.Ifbothparentsarewithinareasonable
distanceofeachother,thechildbenefits.Whenparentslivefar
Long-distance
parenting means
sacrifice – in time
and in money. It
requires a strong
commitment by
each parent to
ensure
involvement by
both parents with
their child.
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
50
apart0
1
,achild’sdailyandweeklycontactisreducedandlargegapsof
timewithoutphysicalcontactbetweenthechildandparentdevelop.
Whenbothparentsmovetothesamegeneralarea,itisless
disruptive.Nomatterthedistance,achildwillbenefitfromasmuch
regularandfrequentphysicalcontactwitheachparentaspossible.
GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS
Whenparentslivefarapart,thereshouldbeaminimumoffour
blocksofparentingtimebetweenthechildandparenteachyear.
Blocksoftimeshouldoccuroverthesummer,winterbreak,spring
break,andatleastoneotherblockoftime.Whentheparentslive
closeenoughtoeachother,parentscanaddonce‐a‐monthweekend
timeduringthemonthsnotcoveredbythefourparentingtime
blocks.Whenthedrivingdistanceisunderfourhours,the
opportunityexiststoaddevery‐other‐weekendcontactorlong
weekendsintheplan.
Holidaysandspecialoccasionsarechallengingforparentswholive
farapart.Aschildrenreachagethree,theybecomeawareof
holidays.Parentsmustbeflexible,cooperative,andallowthechildto
enjoyspecialtimeswitheachparent.Newfamilytraditionsmay
developforeachhousehold.Parentsshouldarrangeforthemany
religious,cultural,ornationalholidaysthatexistineachhome
includingfamilybirthdaysandMother’sDayandFather’sDay.
Long‐distanceparentingisexpensive.Thecostoftraveliscoveredin
thechildsupportguidelines.Ifthecourthasn’tsaidwhopaysforthe
travelexpensesinthechildsupportorder,theparentsshouldagree
onhowtosharethesecostsbeforeamove.Inthecasewherethe
moveisnecessary,thecostsusuallyaredividedinproportiontothe
parents’incomes.However,ifthemoveisvoluntary,themoving
parentusuallypaysagreaterpercentageofalltravelcosts.Acost‐
savingideaistohavethedistantparentdomostofthetravelingand
notthechildren.
1
Theterm“farapart”meansdifferentthingstodifferentpeople.Thecourtsexaminelong‐distanceparenting
whenthedistanceintimefortravelormilesissogreatthatithasaseriousimpactonachild’swelfare.
Children
generally are
resilient
following their
parents’ divorce,
and those who
have healthy
relationships
with both parents
can thrive.
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
51
Example:JaimeandPatmovefromFloridatoArizonain2005becauseof
Pat’sjob.Theyhaveatwoyearolddaughterand asonwhoisfive.Both
parentswork.JaimehastwoweeksofvacationeachyearandPathasfour
weeks.Duringthemarriage,JaimewastheprimarycaregiverandPat
wasanactivesecondarycaregiver.Thisyeartheyfilefordivorce.Jaimeis
anonlychildwhoseelderlyparentsliveinFlorida.Jaimewantstomove
backtoFloridatohavemoreincomeandtobeclosertothem.Pat’sjob
requirestraveloutofstateforaweekeachquarter.Patwantstoremaina
vitalandactiveparentinthechildren’slives.Thepartiesaskfora
resolutionmanagementconferencewiththejudgetohelpsortoutthe
movedispute.
Thejudgesuggests:
1)PataskatworkaboutahardshipmovebacktoFlorida
2)TheparentspricethecostforajointmoveoradelayedmovebyPat
withreimbursement
3)TheparentsthinkaboutsharingthecostofmovingJaime’sparentsto
Arizona
4)Jaimeusejobservicesinbothlocationstocomparetheincomes(while
keepinginmindtheaddedcostsJaimecouldfacefortransportationofthe
children)
5)JaimeconsiderstayinginArizonauntilthechildrenarebothschoolage
6)Theparentssacrificetheirvacationtimetoalwaysvacationinthe
samelocationastheotherparentuntilthe childrenareoldenoughto
travelunaccompaniedbyaparent
7)Theparentsmeetinmediationtoexploremoreoptions
8)Theparentscontinuetodiscusssolutionsbetweenthemselvesor
throughtheirattorneys.
AGE-SPECIFIC RECOMENDATIONS
BIRTH TO PRE-SCHOOL
Thisisanimportanttimeforbondingbetweenparentsandchildren.
Formostchildren,thelossofastrongbondisalifelongissue.In
contrast,buildingastrongbondcreatesasenseofbelonging,
encouragesactiveandcommittedparents,causeshealthyadult
relationshipswithbothgenders,facilitatesco‐parenting,and
improvescommunicationbetweenparentsandagrowingchild.If
possible,thelongdistanceseparationshouldbedelayedsothatboth
parentsandchildrencanmakebestuseoftheirtimetogetherduring
theseformativeyears.Ifthemovecan’tbedelayed,theparenting
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
52
timescheduleshouldbedesignedtoprovidethemostdirectand
frequentphysicalcontactbetweenthechildandbothparentsthat
timeandmoneypermit.
KINDERGARTENTO12YEARS
Thepartiesshouldcontinuetomakethemostofthetimeeach
parenthaswiththechild.Thescheduleshouldbeadjustedtofollow
closelythechild’sregularschoolschedule.Theschoolyearparent
mustsacrificefrequentphysicalcontactduringnon‐schooltimes
suchasthesummerandholidays,whilethenon‐schoolparentmust
sacrificefrequentphysicalcontactduringtheschoolsemesters.
Someschoolshaveyear‐roundormodifiedyear‐roundschedules
thatprovideformorefrequentorlongerbreakswiththedistant
parent.Ifparentscanfindaschoolwithsuchaschedule,thiswillbe
ofassistancetochildren.
13TO15YEARS
Thepartiesshouldcontinuetotakefulladvantageofthetimeeach
parenthaswiththeteen.Thescheduleshouldcontinuetofollow
closelytheavailabletimesfromtheteen’sschoolschedule.The
distantparentmayneedtoaccommodatetheschoolscheduleand
extracurricularactivities.Theschoolparentmayneedtosacrifice
holidaytimetooffsettheparentingtimelostbythedistantparent.
Weekendparentingtimemaybecomemoredifficultduringthe
schoolyearbecauseoftheteen’sinvolvementwithschoolactivities,
work,andfriends.Flexibilitybybothparentsiscritical.Parentscan
expecttheteentostarttotrytonegotiatetimewithbothparents.
Consideryourteenager’sideasinyourdecision‐making.Expectthat
someteensmaywanttoswitchhometownsfortheopportunityto
gettoknowtheotherparentbetter.Aswithanyplan,parentsmust
makethefinaldecisionaboutschedules.Summerparentingtimeis
evenmoreimportanttoensurethatthedistantparentandteenhave
acontinuingrelationship.Thedistantparentshouldmakeevery
efforttoprovidematchingactivities,summerschoolclasses,or
employmentopportunitiesforateensothattheteenremains
enthusiasticaboutcontinuingthesummerschedule.
16TO18YEARS
Teensatthisagenormallythinkofthemselvesasyoungadults
preparingfortheworldaheadofthem.Parentscanguidetheir
teenagerbypermittinggreaterresponsibilityandindependence.
Oneopportunitytomakethemgooddecision‐makersiswiththe
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
53
parentingtimeschedule.Asktheiropinion,listentowhattheyhave
tosay,andgivethemchoices.Teenswanttheirparentstobe
availablebutalsowanttocontroltheirownday‐to‐dayactivities.
Communicationandcompromisewillleadtothedesiredflexible
schedule.
Example:ChrisandTerryhavebeendivorcedforfouryearsinArizonaand
bothhaveremarried.Eachparenthasanewtoddler.Thepartieshave
teenagetwins,adaughterandason.ThetwinsliveprimarilywithChris
andspendsubstantialtimewithTerry.ChrisandTerryhavecontinuing
conflicts.Thetwinsareenteringtheirsophomoreyearofhighschool.This
year,ChrisgaveTerrytimelynoticeofanintenttomovetoCaliforniaatthe
endoftheschoolsemesterbecauseChris’snewspouseisbeingtransferred
toSacramento.Terryobjectsandfilesarequesttoprohibittherelocation
ofthetwins.ChrissaysTerryisopposingthemoveoutofspite.Terrysays
ChrisisusingthemovetodamagefurtherTerry’srelationshipwiththekids.
Thepartiesaskforaresolutionmanagementconferencewiththejudgeto
helpsortoutthemovedispute.
Thejudgesuggests:
1)Theparentsputasidetheirconflictandconsidertheimpacts,proand
con,ofthemoveontheteens
2)Theparentsconsiderchildinterviews
3)Chris’snewspouseaskatworkaboutahardshipmovebacktoArizona
4)TheparentspricethecostfortransportationtoandfromCalifornia
5)Theparentsseekadvicefromeducationalprofessionalsontheimpactof
achangeinhighschools
6)Theparentsmeetinmediationtoexploremoreoptions
7)Theparentscontinuetodiscusssolutionsbetweenthemselvesorthrough
theirattorneys.
GENERAL TIPS
AIRTRAVEL
Ideally,achildyoungerthaneightshouldn’ttravelalone.Ifit’s
necessaryforachildtotravelbyair,directflightsbetweenmajor
citiesarepreferredovermultiplestopsorplanechanges.Tosave
costs,ticketsshouldbepricedata30‐dayadvancenotice,economy
class,onmajorcarriers.Consulteachairlineforhowandwhen
unaccompaniedormonitoredminorsmayfly.Rememberthatifa
personyoungerthan18istravelingintheUnitedStatesaloneor
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
54
withonlyoneparentoranotheradult,acourtorderorcertified
consentletterprovingthatbothparentspermitthetripshouldbe
carried.
DELAYSATEXCHANGEPOINTS
Communicationisnevermoreimportantthanwhenalong‐distance
exchangeoccurs.Keepyourcontactnumberscurrentandnotifyeach
otherofthesafearrivalofyourchild.Also,besuretokeepeach
otherinformedofanyunforeseendelaysassoonaspossible.Discuss
inadvancewhatareasonablewaitingtimeisforeachmeansof
transportation.
DROP‐INVISITS
Opportunitiescanoccurforeitherparenttobeintownwhenthe
childrenareinthecareoftheotherparent.Whensuchopportunities
arise,parentsshouldbeflexibleandsetasidenormalroutinesto
allowcontactonshortnotice.Alotofgoodfaithcanarisefromsuch
cooperation.Remember,theshoemaybeontheotherfootsomeday.
FREQUENTMOVES
Familiesbenefitfromfinancialstabilityintheirlives.It’salsoafact
thattheaverageU.S.familymoveseveryfiveyears.Typicalreasons
includejobs,health,education,marriage,andfamilyemergencies.
However,wheneitherparentmovesfrequentlyandwithoutgood
reason,thatparentcanexpecttobeartheburdenofthemoveand
paymoreforthecostsandtraveltimeforparenting.
INTERNATIONALPARENTINGTIMEANDBORDERTRAVEL
Internationalparentingtimeandtravelhaveuniquechallenges.
Childrenmayleavethecountrywithoutrestrictionbutcan’treturn
withoutproofofcitizenship.Passportsandvisasarerequired.The
primarycustodialparentshouldsafeguardthesedocumentsand
makethemeasilyavailabletotheotherparentatthescheduled
timesandplacesofexchange.Likewise,thedocumentsshouldbe
returnedpromptlyattheconclusionofparentingtime.Thenon‐
custodialparentshouldkeepcopiesofimportanttraveldocuments.
Forthelatestrequirements,reviewthecrossingborderssectionof
theU.S.DepartmentofHomelandSecurityfoundontheDHSweb
pageat1http://www.dhs.gov/xtrvlsec/crossingborders/.Forlong‐
termplanning,reviewtheinformationfoundintheOfficeof
Children’sIssues,U.S.DepartmentofState,foundonitswebpageat
2http://travel.state.gov/family/about/about_605.html.
Long-Distance Parenting and Relocation
55
MILESTONESANDCHILDDEVELOPMENT
Theparentwhoisawayfromthechildrenforasignificantlengthof
timemaybeoutoftheloopontheirgeneralwelfare.It’simportant
foreachparentexercisingparentingtimewiththechildrentokeep
theotherinformedaboutschoolprogress,awards,special
recognition,reportcards,sportsperformance,physicaland
emotionalhealthconcerns,extracurricularactivities,andother
importantmilestonesanddevelopmentsinthechild’slife.Likewise,
thechildshouldknowthesignificant,age‐appropriateeventsineach
parent’slifeduringhisorherabsence.Allareequallyimportant.
Travelingorsharedjournalsareausefultoolforsuchpurposes.
TIMELOSSFORTRAVEL
Inalong‐distanceparentingplan,anticipatethelossoftimewith
childrenbybothparentsbecauseoftravelovergreatdistances.
Buildingparentingtimeintotravelmaybeapossiblesolution.Travel
timeactivitiescanbeachanceforparentsandchildrentotransition
andenhancetheirrelationship.Thus,whenpossible,thereceiving
parentshouldbetheaccompanyingtravelparent.
“VIRTUALPARENTING”
Maintainingcontactbyphone,letter,textmessaging,e‐mail,web
camandothertechnologicalmeansmaybehelpfulandworthwhile
forlong‐distanceparenting.However,virtualparentingisnotan
idealsubstituteforregularin‐personcontact,anditshouldn’tbe
usedasanalternativethatdecreasestheparentingtimeofaparent.
WILDCARDS
Parentscanexpectpre‐teensandteens,atacertainlevelofageand
maturity,tostarttonegotiatewithbothparentsabouttheirliving
arrangements.Onesolutionistobuildintotheplansome“wildcard”
daysforthechildtochoosetoexpandorcontracttimeinsidean
otherwisefixedschedule.
56
SPECIAL ISSUES
Somechildrenmayhaveaparentwhowantstobecomepartoftheir
livesafteryears,oralifetime,ofnotbeinginvolvedwiththem.Other
childrenmayhaveaparentwhowasintheirlivesatonetimebut
left,andthen,aftermanymonthsoryears,wantstobepartoftheir
livesagain.Theemotionalissuesforbothchildrenandthecustodial
parentareoftenverycomplicatedanddifficulttounderstand.Most
childrenandparentsneedprofessionalhelptobuildtrustbetween
thechildandtheabsentparent.Thiskindofhelpiscalled
reunificationcounseling.Thetimeittakesforthecounselingtobe
successfulwilldependinpartonthechild’sageandpersonality.
Counselingalsocanhelpparentslearntocommunicateand
cooperate.Thiskindofcounselingiscalledco‐parentcounseling.
Today,atleastone‐thirdofallchildrenintheU.S.areexpectedtolive
inastepfamilybeforetheyreachage18.Whentwofamiliesunite,
newpersonalities,habits,rules,andmemoriesbecomepartofthe
household.Mostblendedfamiliesarecapableofworkingouttheir
differencesorconflictsandlivingtogethersuccessfully.Ittakes
patience,opendiscussionoffeelings,positiveattitudes,mutual
respect,andthoughtfulplanningonthepartofbothparents
(biologicalandstep)tomaketheformationofanewfamilysucceed.
Parentsalsoneedtobesensitivetothechildren’sneeds(thoseof
theirchildrenandthoseoftheotherparent)andunderstandthat
blendedfamiliesarecomplex.
Nomatterhowhardtheparentstry,whentwoseparatefamilies
cometogetherunderoneroof,therewillbeconflicts.Childrencanbe
sadorfearfulasthesechangesoccur,andittakestimeforthemto
adjusttothenewfamily.Severalcommonproblemscanoccurwithin
ablendedfamily.Oneproblemisdiscipline.Theparentsshould
agreeandexplaintothechildrenifandhowastepparentisgoingto
disciplinestepchildren.Anotherpossibleproblemiswhatnamethe
childrenaretocallthestepparent.Inaddition,somechildrenwant
timealonewiththeirbiologicalparentandmaybecomeangrywhen
theparentspendstimewiththenewpartnerandhisorherchildren.
Therearealsochildrenwhoresistdevelopingaclosebondwitha
stepparentbecausetheyfearthiscouldangertheirbiologicalparent
ofthesamegender.Familycounselingforallfamilymembersmaybe
neededifachildcontinuestoresentastepparent,ifastepparent
continuestoresentastepchild,ifastepparentcontinuestoopenly
BLENDED (STEP)
FAMILIES
ABSENT PARENT
REUNIFICATION
Special Issues
57
favorhisorherchildren,orwhenamemberofthefamilycontinues
toavoidcontactwiththenewfamilymembers.Herearesometips
forparentsandstepparentstocreatepositiverelationshipsforeach
memberoftheblendedfamily:
• Besensitiveaboutintroducinganewpartnerintoyour
children'slives.
• Spendsomealonetimewithyourownchildrensotheydon’tfeel
overshadowedbythenewfamilymembers.
• Discussparentingproblemswiththeotherparentawayfromthe
children.
• Avoidanydisplayoffavoritismregardingyourchildren.
• Letthechildrenchooseanappropriatenameortitleforthe
stepparent.
• Planregularfamilymeetingstodiscussallmembers’needs.
Pediatriciansagreethatbreast‐feedingisbestformostbabies.There
isnoproof,though,thatbreast‐fedbabiesformcloserrelationships
withtheirparentsthandobottle‐fedbabies.Childrendevelopsecure
andpositiverelationshipswhentheyhavefrequentcontactwitha
parentwhoholds,talks,comforts,andfeedstheminasensitiveand
caringmanner.
Parentswhoarenotraisingtheirchildtogethermustbalancethe
baby’sneedtonursewithitsneedtobondwiththefather.The
parentsshouldtalkoftenandopenlywitheachotheraboutthebaby.
Breast‐feedingshouldn’tbeusedtostopthefatherfromspending
timewiththechild.Instead,mothersneedtoofferthefather
parentingtime,andfathersneedtobeflexibleregardingtheneedof
thebabytonurse.Afathercanfeedaninfantwiththemother’s
expressed(pumped)milk,particularlyafternursingroutinesare
wellestablished.Ifthereareanyquestionsaboutbreast‐feeding,
parentsshouldtalktothebaby’spediatrician.
Somechildrenfindithardtogofromoneparent’shometotheother,
andtheyexpressthesefeelingsthroughtheirbehavior.Thereare
manyreasonswhysomechildrensaytheydonotwanttospendtime
withtheotherparent.Someofthereasonshavetodowithachild’s
ageandpersonality,whileforothersithastodowithhowtheir
parentsgetalong.Howaparentreactstoachildnotwantingtobe
withtheotherparentcanalsoaffectwhetherthechildorteenis
willingtobewiththeotherparent.Toddlers,forexample,maynot
yetunderstandwhatishappeningtothematexchangetime,and
BREAST-FEEDING
CHILDREN WHO
DON’T WANT TO
SPEND TIME WITH
A PARENT
Special Issues
58
theymaycrywhentheyleaveoneparent.Thisisanaturalreaction,
andthesechildrenusuallycalmdownoncetheyaredistractedand
areengagedinafunactivity.Sometimeschildrenjustdon’twantto
stopdoingwhattheyaredoingbecausethey’rehavingfun.Other
childrenmaynothavegottenusedtobeinginanewenvironment,
andtheywouldratherstayinahomeandaneighborhoodthatthey
know.Parentscanhelpchildrenadjustbyunderstandingtheir
feelingsbutinsistingthattheyspendtimewiththeotherparent,just
asaparentwoulddoifthechilddoesn’twanttogotoschool.
Parentsshouldalsounderstandthatsometimesthereareproblems
thatneedtobeworkedonthroughcounseling.Forexample,some
childrenmayhaveseriousproblemsgettingusedtoaparent’snew
partnerandhisorherchildren.Therearealsochildrenwhoare
caughtinthemiddleoftheirparents’conflictandwhomaytake
sideswithoneparentandrefusetodowhatanyparentorjudgetells
themtodoaboutspendingtimewiththeotherparent.Insituations
likethis,professionalhelpisusuallynecessary.Ifthereareconcerns
thatthechildrendon’twanttogobecausethey’rebeingabusedor
neglected,ChildProtectiveServicesshouldbecontacted.
Anincarceratedparentisstillaparenttoachild.Inmanycases,a
childhasalegalrightandanemotionalneedtoremainincontact
withtheparentinprison.It’simportanttounderstandthatthe
needsofthechildmaybedifferentfromthecustodialparent’sneeds
regardingcontactwiththeincarceratedparent.Beforeachildvisits
theparentinjailorprison,thecustodialparentshouldtalktothe
childaboutwhattoexpect.Afterthevisit,thechildshouldbe
encouragedtotalkopenlyaboutthoughtsandfeelingsregardingthe
visit,andthecustodialparentshouldrespondsensitively.
Manyparentsco‐parentwell,butsomedonot.Someparentsargue
witheachotherwhentheyexchangethechildrenortalktoeach
otheronthephone.Theysometimesblametheotherparentforthe
problemsthey’rehaving,andinextremecases,someparentstellthe
childrenhowbadtheotherparentis.
Whenparentsdothesethings,childrencandevelopemotionaland
behavioralproblems.Theymaybecomefearful,thinkingthatthey’re
thecauseoftheirparents’fighting,findingthemselveshavingto
choosebetweentheirparents,ordevelopinglowself‐esteem.
CONTACT WITH AN
INCARCERATED
PARENT
HIGH CONFLICT
Special Issues
59
Forparentswhocan’tcooperativelyco‐parent,parallelparentingisa
wayforthemtoraisetheirchildwithlittlecontactbetweeneach
other.Eachparentmakesday‐to‐daydecisionsaboutthechildwhile
thechildiswiththeparent.Withparallelparenting,communication
betweentheparentsislimited,exceptinemergencies,andusuallyis
inwriting.Aco‐parenttherapistoraparentcoordinatoroftenhelps
parentshandleparallelparentingarrangements.
Insomecounties,parentscanattendhighconflictresolutionclasses
orcooperativeparentingclasses.Intheseclasses,parentslearnthat
anycontinuingconflictbetweenthemwilllikelyhavealong‐term
negativeeffectontheirchildren.Theyalsolearnskillstobebetter
co‐parents.
Therealityformilitaryfamiliesismovement.Whenparentsarefirst
divorcedorseparated,theymayliveinthesamecommunity.This
willrequireaparentingplanthatfocusesonsharingthechildwhen
theparentsliveclosetoeachotherandallowingfortemporaryduty
assignment(TDY)possibilities.Militaryfamiliesshouldthinkabout
includingalong‐distanceparentingplanincaseparentsareno
longerlivinginthesamearea.Detailedtravelarrangementsarean
importantpartaswellasallowingfordeploymentandTDYissues.
Parentsmaywanttothinkabouthowparentingtimecanbe
rearrangedbecauseoftemporarydutyassignmentsoroverseas
commitments.Oneideaistoextendsummerorwinterbreaksto
allowforsuchsituations.
Maintainingcontactbetweenthechildandthenon‐residential
militaryparentisimportant.Theresidentialparentcansupportthe
child’srelationshipwiththeotherparentbyhavingaconsistentplan
ofcommunicationwiththeotherparent.Itmayseemattimes(tothe
residentialparent)thatheorsheisshoulderingmostofthe
responsibilityforfosteringthechild’srelationshipwiththeabsent
parent.It’simportanttoknowthatthechildwillbenefitfromthis
effortasthechildgetsolder.
Whenparentsaren’tmarriedtoeachotherwhentheirchildisborn,
thebiologicalfatherhasnolegalrighttocustodyorparentingtime
untilpaternityislegallyestablishedandthecourtorderscustody
andparentingtime.Thecourtalsowillnotorderchildsupportuntil
paternityislegallyestablished.
MILITARY
NEVER MARRIED
Special Issues
60
Whenaparenthasn’thadparentingtimewiththechildbefore,the
courtmayorderlimitedparentingtimeatfirstandgradually
increaseitovertime.Thecourtmayordersupervisedparentingtime
atfirstuntiltheparenthasgainedparentingskillsandthechildfeels
comfortablewiththeparent.
Unmarriedparentsmaynotknoweachotherverywellandasa
resultcan’trelyonpreviousexperiencesofworkingtogetheras
parents.Iftheparentsneverlivedtogetherordidsoonlyforashort
time,theywillhavetodevelopacooperativeco‐parenting
relationship.Theparentsmayfindjointcounselinghelpful.
Theextendedfamilymembersshouldbesupportiveofeachparent’s
relationshipwiththechild.It’simportantforeachparenttobe
responsibleforhisorherrelativesandtoaskthemtosupportthe
child’srelationshipwiththeotherparent.
Achildwhohashadlittleornocontactwiththeotherparentmay
havedevelopedanimportantrelationshipwithsomeoneheorshe
perceivesasaparent.Achildcouldhavedifficultycopingand
adjustingtoaparentwhoreappearsafteralongabsence.Seethe
sectiononpage56concerningreunification.
ProtectiveOrdersWhenanOrderofProtectionisineffect,the
parentingplancannotincludecontactthatwouldviolateit.Onlythe
courtcanchangeaprotectiveorder.Ifthereisaprotectiveorder
betweenyouandtheotherparent,youmayaskthecourttochange
theprotectiveordertoallowparentingtimeexchangesinspecific
locationswithnocontactbetweenthetwoofyou.Youalsocanaska
thirdpersontohelptransportthechildforparentingtime
exchanges.
DomesticViolenceWhentherehasbeenahistoryofsignificant
domesticviolence,thecourtwillnotorderjointcustody.The
parentingplanmustprovideforthesafetyandwell‐beingofthe
child,ifthechildwaspresentwhendomesticviolenceoccurred(See
A.R.S.§25‐403.03formorespecificinformation.)Incasesof
domesticviolence,theplanmayprovideforsupervisedparenting
timeduringwhichaspecifiedadultmustbepresent.Theplanshould
namethepersonwhowillsupervisetheparentingtime.Somecourts
havesupervisionprogramsbutmanydonot.Ifthereisnocourt
supervisionprogramavailable,thesupervisornamedinyourplan
SAFETY
Special Issues
61
mustbearesponsibleadultwhohastimetosupervisetheparenting
timeandcanactcalmlyandmaturelywiththeparentwhoisbeing
supervised.
AlcoholorDrugUseorAbuseIfyou’reconcernedabouttheother
parent’salcoholordrugabuse,theparentingplanmayprovidefor
drugtestingorincludeotherprovisionslimitingalcoholordruguse
duringparentingtimeforoneorbothparents.Iftestingisrequired,
theparentingtimeordershouldstatehowoftentestingwillhappen,
whowillpayforit,andwhatwillhappenifthereisapositivetest.
It’sagoodideatokeepsiblingstogether.Sometimes,though,this
isn’tpossible.Considertheuniqueneedsofyourchildrenwhen
decidinghowmuchtimeeachparentwillspendwitheachchild.For
example,whenthere’sawideagedifferencebetweensiblings,the
parentingplanmightincludesomealonetimewiththeparentsfor
eachchild.Remember,theplansbasedonagesareonlysuggestions.
Parentsmaydecidethatacertainplanworksbestforalloftheir
children,eventhoughthatplanisnotrecommendedforachild’sage.
Almostone‐thirdofallchildrenundertheageof18sufferfromone
formoranotherofon‐goingmentalorphysicalhealthproblems.It’s
importantthatbothparentsunderstandthehealthproblemsand
agreetofollowthetreatmentthedoctorrecommends.Inmostcases,
it’sbestwhenbothparentsattendthedoctorappointments.The
moreseriousthechild’shealthproblem,themoretheparentsneed
totalktoeachotherandkeepeachotherinformed.Theparents
mustalsolearntoorganizemedication,medicalequipment,and
treatments.Whentheparentshavejointlegalcustody,theyboth
needtobeinvolvedinmajordecisionsaboutmedicaltreatment,
unlesstheircourtordersayssomethingelse.Theparentingtime
scheduleshouldfitthechild’smedicalneeds.
Aparentmaybetemptedtoinvolveathirdparty(suchasa
boyfriendorgirlfriend,grandparents,orfriends)inparentingtime
exchangesordiscussionswiththeotherparent.Ifthereisany
chanceofconflictwiththeotherparent,lettingathirdpersonspeak
foryouusuallyisnotagoodideaandcanmakemattersworse.
Instead,aneutralthirdparty,suchasamediatororaparenting
coordinator,maybeabletoassistparentsinresolvingtheirdisputes.
SCHEDULES FOR
FAMILIES WITH
CHILDREN OF
DIFFERENT AGES
SPECIAL NEEDS
CHILDREN
THIRD-PARTY
INVOLVEMENT
62
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Giventhedifferingcircumstancesineachfamily,courtsuseavarietyofcommunityprofessionalsto
help.Someoftheservicesofferedbymentalhealthexpertsareoutlinedbelow.Theuseofsuch
professionalsdoesnotmeanoneofthefamilymemberssuffersfromamentaldisorder.Helping
identifyproblemsthatcanaffectyourchildrenandgettingtherightpersontohelpstartswhenyou
knowthedifferenttypesofservicesandcanrequesttheonesthatbestsuityourfamily.
ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION (ADR): SOLVE IT WITHOUT A
JUDGE
Collaborative
DivorceCoaching
andConsulting
Teamapproachtodivorceinvolvingtheparents,theirattorneys,financial
analysts,consultants,andotherswhoprovideinformationandeducationto
helpresolveparentaldisputeswithoutcourtinvolvement.
ConciliationCourt
orConciliation
Services
Adepartmentwithinthesuperiorcourtofeachcountythatoffers
alternativedisputeresolutionservicesasorderedbythecourtforthose
involvedinfamilylawcases.Servicesprovidedmayinclude:parent
educationclasses,conciliationcounseling,custody/parentingtime
mediation,parentingconferences,evaluations,andparentingcoordination.
Eachcountymayofferdifferentservices,andinsomecounties,servicesmay
becontractedouttoprivateproviders.
Mediation Usesavarietyofnegotiationtoolsandstrategiestoassistparentstoreach
agreementaboutallaspectsofchildcustodyandparentingplans.
Parenting
Coordinator
Casemanagement,disputeresolutionprocessusingmediationand
arbitrationconceptstohelpimplementparentingplans.
ASSESSMENT: PROVIDING INFORMATION TO THE JUDGE
BriefFocused
Evaluation
Lesscomprehensiveevaluationfocusedonaddressingspecificissues
orupdatinganalready‐existingparentingplan.
ChildCustody
Evaluation
Comprehensivefact‐findingprocessresultinginextensivedecision‐
makingandparentingtimerecommendations.Especiallyhelpfulwhere
therearehigh‐conflictparentalrelationships,relocationissues,or
allegationsofsexualabuse,childabuse,ordomesticviolence.
Professional Services for Parents and Children
63
ChildForensic
Interview
Specializedinterviewofachildtoanswerspecificquestionsforthe
courtwithoutinvolvingthechilddirectlyinthelegalsystem.
Neuropsychological
Evaluation
Aprocessbyamedicalprofessionaltodetermineifapersonhasa
physicalbraininjurythatsignificantlydisruptstheperson’slife,
typicallymanifestedby“shortfuse”violenceandpost‐traumaticstress
disorder.
Psychological
Evaluation
Processusingpsychologicaltests,interviews,andobservationsto
evaluatementalstatusandfunctioningortreatmentneeds.
PsychosexualRisk Processusingpsychologicaltests,polygraphs,interviews,and
observationstoevaluatethepotentialriskforphysicaland/orsexual
abuseofchildren.
THERAPEUTIC: GETTING HELP
CoParentingTherapy Jointparentaltherapyintendedtoincreasepositivecoordinationby
parentsandreduceconflicts.
FamilyTherapy Treatmentprovidedwhentwoormoremembersofthefamilyneed
treatmentinordertonormalizeandstabilizefunctioning.
ForensicTherapy Non‐confidentialtreatmentprovidedbyatherapistorderedbythe
court.It’scommonforaforensicallyinformedtherapisttowritea
reportforthecourt.
Therapeutic
Intervention
Treatmentandcasemanagementoftenusedintherapeuticallycomplex
casesorinreunificationcaseswhereinterventionfocuseson
supportingtherenewalofarelationshipbetweenaparentandachild.
Therapeutic
Supervision
Supervisionofparent‐childcontactsprovidedbyatherapist.
OTHER
Court Self-Service
Center
Providespeoplewhochoosetorepresentthemselvesinfamilycases
withinformationandaccesstoreasonablypricedforms.The
informationisintendedtohelpyouhelpyourselfthroughthecourt
system.
64
WORDS YOU MAY NEED TO KNOW
Thisisnotalistoflegaldefinitions.Ithasbeenpreparedforusebypersonswhoarenotlawyers.
Access,Visitation,ParentingTime–Words
usedtodescribethescheduleoftimethat
achildhaswitheachparent.

AlternativeDisputeResolution(ADR)–
Waystosolvelegalproblemswithouta
trial.Examplesincludemediation,
resolutionmanagementconference,or
othersettlementmethods.
Attachment–Positivefeelingsofthechild
towardparentsandotherparentfigures.
“BestInterestsoftheChild”–Whenajudge
decidesacustodyorparentingplanissue,
thejudgedecideswhatwouldbebestfor
thechildbasedonalltheinformation.
Bonding–Closerelationshipthatdevelops
betweenayoungchildandaparentora
parentfigure.
Confidentiality–Privateinformationthat
cannotbesharedwithanyoneelseexcept
asrequiredbylaw.
CoParenting–Whenparentssharethe
responsibilityforraisingachildeven
whentheparentsdonotlivetogether.
CourtOrder–Awrittenordermadebya
judgethatmustbefollowed.
DissolutionofMarriage–Divorce.
Divorce–Thelegalprocessofdissolvinga
marriage.
DomesticViolence–Domesticviolenceis
legallydefinedinArizonainA.R.S.§13‐
36
01(a)asacriminalactofphysical,
verbal,orsexualbehaviororthreatsor
intimidationbyonepartnertoward
another.Significantdomesticviolenceisa
factorconsideredindetermining
parentingtimedecisionsunder
3A.R.S.§
25‐403.03.
Exchange–Pick‐upanddrop‐offofachild
betweenparentsorothercaregivers.
FamilyLaw–Thelawsthatrelatetofamily
relationships.Theyincludelawsabout
divorce,paternity,custody,parenting
plans,propertyanddebtdivision,child
support,spousalsupport(“alimony”),and
othertopics.Thelawsarebasedon
statutes,rules,andreportedcourt
decisions.
Filing–GivingyourlegalpaperstotheClerk
oftheCourt.
“FrequentandContinuingContact”– How
thelawreferstochildrenhavingregular
andongoingcontactwithparents.
“FullCustody”‐Thisisnotalegalterm
definedbylawinArizona.InArizona,the
termisnotusedandithasnomeaning.
However,oftenthistermisconfusedwith
“solecustody.”(SeeSoleCustody.)
Words You May Need to Know
65
Hearing–Ascheduledappearanceincourt
whereparentsandattorneysmaycall
witnessesandintroduceevidence.
HolidayPlan–Apartoftheparentingplan
thatspecifieshowchildrenwillspend
holidayswitheachparentanddefines
eachholidaysobothparentsknowwhen
theholidaybeginsandends.
JointLegalCustody–Bothparentsshare
majordecision‐makingfortheirchildren.
Neitherparentcanoverruletheother
parentunlessspecificallyallowedbythe
parentingplanorbycourtorder.Seealso
LegalCustody.(See
4A.R.S.§25‐402(2).)
JointPhysicalCustody–Thechildhas
roughlythesameamountoftimeand
contactwithbothparents.Thisdoesnot
meantheparentshaveJointLegal
Custody.SeealsoPhysicalCustody.(See
5A.R.S.§25‐402(3).)
LegalCustody–Therightofaparenttomake
majordecisionsforthechildren.Major
decisionsmayincludemedicalcare,
personalappearance,religion,or
education.Custodymaybeeitherjoint
withbothparentsorsolewithoneparent.
(See
6A.R.S.§25‐402.)
Maternity–Alegalactionthatresultsina
courtordernamingthechild’smother.
Mediation–Ameetingwithamediatorwho
helpstheparentstrytosolveproblems
cooperatively.Mediationmayoccurface
tofaceorseparately,ifnecessary.
Mediationisconfidential.Themediator
doesnottelltheparentswhattheyshould
doormakearecommendationtothe
court.(SeeRuleofFamilyLawProcedure
66.B(4).)
Mediator–Atrained,neutralthirdpartywho
helpstheparentstrytosolveproblems
cooperativelythroughmediation.
ModificationofParentingPlan–Changesto
theparentingplan.Ifagreedto,the
changescanbeenforcedonlyiftheyare
submittedtoandorderedbythecourt.If
thepartiescannotagree,onepartycan
requestmodificationbyfilingamotion
withthecourt.
OrderofProtection–SeeProtectiveOrder.
ParallelParenting–See“HighConflict”in
theSpecialIssuessectiononpage58.
ParentingPlan–Adocumentthatstates
whenthechildwillbewitheachparent
andhowdecisionswillbemade.The
parentingplanmaybedevelopedbythe
parentsontheirownorwiththehelpofa
professionalsuchasamediator,an
attorney,orajudge.
ParentingTime–Thetimeachildspends
witheachparentaccordingtoacourt
order.
Paternity–Alegalactionthatresultsina
courtordernamingthechild’sfather.
PhysicalCustody–Theactualphysical
residenceofthechildatanygiventime.
(SeeandcompareJointPhysicalCust
ody
andParentingTime.)
Words You May Need to Know
66
PrimaryResidence–Theparent’shome
wherethechildphysicallyresidesmostof
thetime.
ProtectiveOrder–Referstofourtypesof
orders(OrderofProtection,Emergency
OrderofProtection,InjunctionAgainst
Harassment,InjunctionAgainst
WorkplaceHarassment)designedto
preventviolenceorharassmentbetween
parties.Anycourtinthestatecanissue
thesespecialorderswithoutnoticetothe
defendant.Whentheordersareset
withoutnotice,hearingsmustbeset
within5‐10daysattherequestofthe
defendant.(SeeRule1BoftheArizona
RulesofProtectiveOrderProcedure.)
RulesofCourt–Courtproceduresare
controlledbyrules.Familylawis
controlledbytheArizonaRulesofFamily
LawProcedure(ARFLP).TheARFLPcan
befoundatthelocallawlibraryorat:
7http://www.supreme.state.az.us/rules/ra
md_pdf/R‐05‐0008.pdf.TheARFLPcan
alsobesupplementedbylocalcounty
rules.
SoleCustody–Whenonlyoneparenthasthe
righttomakemajorlegaldecisionsforthe
child.Thesolelegalcustodianmaynot
changetheparentingtimeoftheother
parentwithoutagreement.(SeeLegal
Custody.)
Statute–Alawpassedbythestatelegislature
(oradoptedbyinitiative).Mostcode
sectionsrelatingtofamilylawareinTitle
25oftheArizonaRevisedStatutes(A.R.S.)
andareavailableatthecountylawlibrary
orontheinternetat:
8www.azleg.state.az.us/ArizonaRevisedSta
tutes.asp.
Stipulation–Aformalagreementofthe
parties.Whenitiswrittenandsignedby
bothpartiesandthenapprovedbya
judge,itbecomesacourtorder.
SupervisedExchanges–Pickupanddropoff
ofthechildinthepresenceofanother
specifiedadult.
SupervisedParentingTime–Parentingtime
duringwhichtheparentandchildmust
beinthepresenceofanotherspecified
adult.
TherapeuticSupervision–Supervisionof
parent‐childcontactsprovidedbya
therapist.
Transition–Theadjustmenttimeforparents
andthechildimmediatelybefore,during,
andaftertheexchangeofthechild
betweentheparentsorothercaregivers.
Trial–Aformalhearingwithwitnessesand
evidence.(SeeHearing.)
VirtualParenting–Parentingtime
facilitatedbyelectronicmeansto
supplement,notreplace,in‐person
parentingtime.Examplesinclude
telephonecalls,webcam,
videoconferencing,instantmessaging,on‐
linechatting,telephonetexting,etc.
Visitation–Thistermisnolongerpreferred.
Instead,seeAccess,ParentingPlanor
ParentingTime.
Workgroup Members
67
WORKGROUP MEMBERS
CoChairs:
ColleenMcNally,PresidingFamilyCourtJudge
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
JohnRea,AssociatePresidingFamilyCourtJudge
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
Members:
FarenAkins,Ph.D.,J.D.
PsychologistandAttorney
SidneyBuckman,M.A.,Coordinator
ADRandConciliationCourt
SuperiorCourtinCoconinoCounty
EdithA.Croxen,J.D.
FamilyLawAttorney,PimaCounty
BrooksGibson,M.Ed.,LPC
ChildCustodyEvaluator,ParentingCoordinator
NancyGray‐Eade,Director
ConciliationCourt
SuperiorCourtinYumaCounty
GraceHawkins,L.C.S.W.,Director
ConciliationCourt
SuperiorCourtinPimaCounty
MarleneJoy,Ph.D.
CustodyEvaluator,ParentingCoordinator
StevenK.Larson,J.D.
FamilyLawAttorney,MaricopaCounty
JudyLewis‐Thome,Dipl.‐Psych.
SupervisorofConciliationServices
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
KathyMcCormick,Coordinator
AlternativeDisputeResolution
SuperiorCourtinYavapaiCounty
LindaH.Miles,Judge
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
SusannaPineda,Judge
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
RhondaL.Repp,Commissioner
SuperiorCourtinYavapaiCounty
EmmetRonan,Judge
SuperiorCourtinMaricopaCounty
PhilipM.Stahl,Ph.D.,ABPP(Forensic)
Psychologist,CustodyEvaluator
K.C.Stanford,Commissioner
SuperiorCourtinPimaCounty
BarrieWagner,Psy.D.
ForensicandClinicalPsychologist
Staff:
TheresaBarrett,Manager
CourtProgramsUnit
ArizonaSupremeCourt
KayL.Radwanski,Specialist
CourtProgramsUnit
ArizonaSupremeCourt
TamaReily,AdministrativeAssistant
CourtProgramsUnit
ArizonaSupremeCourt
SpecialthankstoGretchenHornberger,lawlibrarian,SuperiorCourtinCoconinoCounty,forher
assistancewitheditorialreview.
Ourappreciationtofasturtletechnologies,LLC,forprovidingthecoverdesign.
fasturtletechnologies,LLC
14807N.73rdSt.Ste202
Scottsdale,AZ85260
Allrightsreserved.
Themodelparentingplanspresentedhereinmaybecopied,reproduced,andusedby
parentsandprofessionalswhoareattemptingtoresolveparentingissues.However,no
partofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanymeans,exceptfornon‐
profitpurposes,withoutpermissioninwritingfrom:
ArizonaSupremeCourt
AdministrativeOfficeoftheCourts
CourtServicesDivision
Thispublicationcanbeprovidedinanalternativeformatorotherassistancemaybe
provideduponrequestbyaqualifiedindividualwithadisabilityundertheprovisionsof
theAmericanswithDisabilitiesAct.
PlanningforParentingTime:Arizona’sGuideforParentsLivingApart
©2009ArizonaSupremeCourt
CourtServicesDivision,CourtProgramsUnit
1501W.Washington,Suite410
Phoenix,AZ85007‐3231
(602)452‐3360